October 26, 2004
A Break from the Norm
I'm gonna go serious on you for today, folks. Bear with me.
A friend of mine recently returned from active duty in Iraq. I gladly wrote him twice a week for a year and a half. It was the least I could do. Although he has been quite elusive since his return, he did send a letter to all his friends, family and church congregation. It was an open letter, so I'm sure he wouldn't mind me sharing it here. In fact, I'm doing it because I think he'd want me to.
I don't know quite what to make of it all -- it is a lot to digest, especially in the context of the person I've known for a decade or so, and in the context of what I believe -- so I will refrain from comment. However, I would love to hear what you think.
I do not do this with political intent, although it may seem that way, just days before the election. Really I don't. I'm assuming that, like me, 99% of the population already know who they are voting for and can't be swayed. I'm not trying to sway. And those who know me know that I abhor arguing politics.
Just because I am opinionated to the Nth degree doesn't mean that I don't respect the opinions of others. I guess I'm just trying to deal, and putting it out there for different takes on it is part of that.
___________________
I just wanted to write you a letter to thank you for all your thoughts and prayers. I was truly blessed to be able to come home on July 30th. I'm not sure why I was as blessed as I was, but I believe some of it had to do with your thoughts and prayers.
Every letter and package was a light in an otherwise bleak and dismal setting. So I believe I owe you a debt of gratitude for my blessings, and strength. Thank you.
I'm sure that you have lots of questions for me. Yet I feel I'm not ready, or very good at answering peoples' random questions about my experiences. I would, however, still like to share some thoughts with you in the hope you could understand me a little better.
I see the world in a new light after serving in Operation Iraqi Freedom for a year and a half. I've changed, and grown as a person. I'm also not quite as naïve or innocent as I was. It is a powerful experience to see such pain and suffering up close, such negligence for the value of life, and such strong desperation for the needs so many of us take for granted (food, water, shelter, love and peace)!
It was saddening to me to see how little human life is valued by combatants on both sides of the barbed wire. To see dehumanization, through ignorance and the failure to understand the humanity of the so-called enemy. These experiences made me realize how naïve my thoughts and ideals about my social upbringing, society, nation and my nation's interest were. What interests? Whose interests? What ideals? Whose ideas was I fighting fore, and whose ideals are kids dying for?
I saw that all the answers to my questions varied from differing social settings. This left me questioning the origins of the truths presented by my society, religion and social upbringing. Has all the world that does not think, believe, live, fight and dream like I do been misled? Have I been misled? It all became a matter of perspective varying on where you were born, when you were born, how you were educated, and you social upbringing. And who was I to judge whose views are right or wrong? With no right answers, I was left feeling truth was unattainable, and cynical. I was left with no food to feed the kids, no orders to help these people, and no orders to understand these people with different thoughts. No! Instead I was left with only greed and ignorant opinions as the truths portrayed by my society.
I was not satisfied with this cynical view of the world. I had to find something more... something that was deeper, more profound, something throughout the world that every culture, society or human could have at their core. I needed some reason to believe in more than greed, and not just give up the world to walls of ignorant oppression and hate. I needed a reason to believe... believe in the future, in humanity, in God, and in me and my life.
Not all of me, not my entire soul could have been misled into pride, dehumanization, and into hate of another human being that has loved, hated, sinned and suffered just as I have.
So I prayed, contemplated, meditated and searched for something... something profound. And finally, I found it in the smile and the eyes of the poor laborer speaking of Christ, in the soft voices and small faces of he begging children, in the words of Steinbeck's literature, and in the touch of the greeting Iraqi men at the port. I found that there is something more profound. There is a choice! There is the universal freedom to be able to choose faith in humanity, in love, and in the future.
This freed me from my cynicism and gave me the realization that there is always a choice. I can choose selfish greed, ignorance and hate, or I can choose understanding, selflessness and love for all mankind.
I can choose to throw away all of the walls society has created to separate, categorize, and oppress people; walls that create the idea that I am different or better than another human.
I can choose to break down social barriers and seek to understand why people have fallen into hate.
I can choose to try my best not to contribute to the causes that divide people against each other, and instead try to love my sinful brother as I love my sinful self.
These are the choices I've made through my experiences.
I know I am a sinner and a hypocrite. Yet I must strive for the values in which I believe, Gandhi believed in, and Christ believed in. The values of a human spirit that chooses others before thyself.
I have chosen to try my best to dedicate my life to use my blessings and talents to breaking these social barriers that separate humanity from itself. I was blessed artistically, and I'm going to try my best to use the meditation of my brush stroke to help people understand the importance of a love that unifies rather than divides humanity.
Thanks for letting me throw some of my thoughts at you.
I apologize for not writing you sooner or more often while I was gone. Writing was a struggle for me. It is hard to find the right words to express such an experience. It is even harder to avoid it and discuss mundane topics.
I truly appreciate your thoughtfulness for me, as well as the packages, letters and prayers. All were of great value to me.
I know that all our lives seem taxing, but we are all truly blessed in this country, and there are others that are not so fortunate and need our help.
______________________
The rest is informal, drop-me-a-line stuff. Thoughts? Questions? Gut reactions?