November 24, 2004
A Thanksgiving Story, as Told By Nicholle
I keep telling her to start a blog, cuz really, her family and in-laws provide endless material. But until she does, I'm going to quote her here:
"We don't do Thanksgiving over at Aunt Jo's anymore, thank God. Because my Dad hates her and is just waiting for their mom to die to he can write his sister out of his life forever. She's completely psycho."Thanksgiving at her house was always a crap shoot. Sometimes she'd do turkey, but sometimes she'd try to get all international and do flaming ice cream and spaghetti and ruin our lives. The last year we were there, she made turkey, so we were all grateful for that.
"But then there's Mitsy the poodle. Yes, they have a poodle named Mitsy. That right there is reason enough to hate them. And they put bows in it's hair and everything.
"So at dinner, Dad was like, 'Awwwwwwww, how cute. Mitsy fell asleep on my shoe.'
"Except that Mitsy wasn't asleep. Mitsy was dead. And my Dad was the one who had to put her in a plastic Jewel bag because everyone in Aunt Jo's family was crying too hard. So Mitsy spent the rest of Thanksgiving dinner out in the garage next to the cases of pop.
"The rest of the dinner didn't go very well. We left early. And as soon as we got in the car and pulled out of the driveway, we all started laughing hysterically.
"Best. Thanksgiving. Ever."
Warms the cockles of you heart, doesn't it?
As for me, I'll be driving through wind, rain, snow and weather alerts to get to Indiana, where we will stay with my in-laws for two days. All twelve of them. In one house. Where they will talk about tractors and sheep manure.
Don't get me wrong. My in-laws are super-nice, and I'm going to hell for saying this,... but sheep manure? How is that a two-hour conversation?! Thank God for Gameboy. On the up-side, they'll probably give me something to write about.
And I learned something today in South Park. Our lives are all just fodder for someone else's blog.
Obligatory List of Things I'm Grateful For
1. Dropsey McDrillbit, my thoughtful husband
2. Heather's TiVo
3. My Family, because I've seen worse
4. My Job, because I'm leaving super early today
5. Pumpkin Pie & Stuffing