November 10, 2004
A Wench's Eye View of Dorkstock III: Part Two
So John wasn't the only one who was hounded for an autograph on Sunday. What do you think of that, Mr. I'm So Kewl I'm a Cartoonist Fancy Pants?
I overheard a gentleman ask Lori to sign something, but I couldn't make out exactly what it was (his chest?), and she bustled outta there before I got a chance to ask. Perhaps the Igor Bar recipe? I don't know. Maybe she'll read this and tell us. Cuz how cool is it to be asked for one's autograph?!
After things wound down and everyone was coming down off their Igor Bar high, Marty and I talked John into grabbing dinner with us before heading back to Wisconsin (more like plied him with booze and carbs). Apparently, it was Bring a Skanky Ho and Get In Free Night. And me wearing appropriately-sized jeans and a hoodie! I suppose I could have unzipped it to my belly button, but I would have been chilly, having just emerged from the warm, monkey-house-scented cocoon of a gamer-packed gym.
The woman across from us was wearing a top that barely covered her nipples it was so low-cut. She had a very small baby with her, so I can only assume it was a breast-feeding-convenience thing? I guess.
Then there was the woman in the light pink ultra-ultra-low-rise-meet-the-pubies jeans. With her exposed roll of flab spilling over her waistband and covering her top button. *shudder* I mean, I have a roll of pudge, but I cover it the fuck up!
I ordered my meal, Spazagna, simply for the comedic value. And because I couldn't find anything wrong with pasta drenched in two kinds of sauces -- alfredo and marinara. What's not to like?
John followed suit and got the Smashers, which consisted of crispy chicken cut into bite-sized pieces, on top of mashed potatos, covered in country gravy. Eat up, Cletus! It was comfort food heaven. You could stick your head in that bowl and forget every asshole who every dumped you.
Marty got the marbled strip steak. I can't think of anything funny about that.
Slipping into a carb-induced coma, we knew we had to act fast, so we ordered dessert to counteract it. Two huge, fresh-baked chocolate chip cookies, two scoops of ice cream, and a galloon of hot fudge. Sugar buzz! That was on the 8th, and I'd already had all my caloric intake for the month of November.
Then I was showered with birthday gifties! Okay, it was not so much a shower as two pieces of hail. John actually parted with the Gilly and Carson cloisonné pins. They sold out long ago, much to my chagrin, and John swears that they weren't his last ones, but I don't trust him. That'd be so like him to give me something so cool, then lie to me so I don't feel bad about it. He's such a bastard that way.
So, that pretty much wraps things up. To finish, I'd just like to add, Bring GenCon back to Milwaukee! Thank you.