November 17, 2004
Ten Guidelines for Pissin' Me Off
In no particular order:
1. When ordering in a restaurant, don't make eye contact and be sure to say, "Gimme."
2. Call in the middle of "America's Next Top Model."
3. Get in front of me in the far left lane and do 60 mph.
4. Call me "just a secretary."
5. Agree to do me a favor, and then bitch about it the whole time.
6. Make me look at vacation photos of people I don't know.
7. Tell me all about the diet you're on. No, really. List for me everything you're not eating.
8. Be late and don't call.
9. Talk to me when you're in the basement and I'm in the bedroom.
10. When in a public place, just stand there in the doorway/bottom of the escalator/middle of the hall, because you are, of course, a hologram, and we can just walk through you.