November 11, 2004
Thank You
Okay, this is a "shout out" (I am sooooooo white) to my brother-in-law, who is the most supportive person in my family (besides Husband, but he's clearly motivated by sex) about the whole weight-loss thing.
It's not like the paramedics are going to need a crane to get my lifeless, couch-fused body to the morgue, but I'm... Rubenesque. In an era when, sadly, it's no longer sexy. Bottom line, I'm still hot, but I ain't happy.
Now, Mommy Dearest, altho' she clearly lives in a glass house, likes to throw stones in the shape of commenting disapprovingly on what I eat. Father Dearest is even more senile, and therefore, less subtle.
Older Sister recently dropped a lot of weight and looks fabulous, but she likes to offer me the clothes she's too small for now, and frankly, I find that offensive. First of all, she dresses like our mother. Secondly, I steered waaaaaay clear of the weight issue when she was heavy, so you'd think she could at least return the favor.
Younger Sister, like me, has struggled with the yo-yo-ing weight since having kids. She understands, so it's a non-issue between us, which is totally cool.
But brother-in-law went the extra mile.
He actually said to me, as I was screaming, "No! No! I won't sign up for the health club! I don't care if the company pays for it! You can't make me! You're not the boss of me!"
And I quote, "Well, I love you and just want you to get in shape so you're happy."
Stunned silence.
Best. Brother-in-law. Ever.