December 15, 2004
Actual Conversation Between My Boss and I
Boss: You know that, uh... sheet with, uh.. the...
Me: Two words? First syllable sounds like?
Boss: With the numbers on it! The phone numbers!
Me: The phone list, yeah.
Boss: You know the fax number listed on there? Does that go to this fax machine by us?
Me: No. Only J knows that number.
Boss: Well, where does it go then?
Me: To the main fax machine in the mail room.
Boss: Okay. So, if I get a fax, who picks it up?
Me: Whoever is there at the time, and they put it in our mail slot.
Boss: We have a mail slot? Where?
Me: You know those big, grey shelves in the mail room? There's one marked Underwriitng.
Boss: And that's us?
Me: That's us.
Boss: And who picks up our stuff?
Me: I do. Several times a day.
Swear. To. God. And this man is a V.P.
Of course, he knows how inept he is with simple stuff. And frankly, I think it's kinda of charming that he can't make two-sided copies or use his speakerphone. Because it means job security for me.
And as long as my job consists of ridiculously simple tasks that make the boss think I'm a fucking genius, well, I just couldn't ask for a better job, could I?