January 19, 2005
There's a Monkey On My Back & She's Dressed to the Nines
Okay, see? This is what happens when Husband says, "Oh, just keep your Christmas bonus and spend it on Barbies," and Boss says, "I'm sorry I don't have much for you to do." I spend All Freakin' Day on eBay and end up buying TEN things in one twenty-four-hour period!
AND I'M STILL NOT DONE!!!
Seriously, five of my purchases were made while watching "Master & Commander" with Husband last night. (I now know more about ocean warfare than is probably healthy, and there wasn't nearly enough Billy to justify that, so I had to satisfy myself with imaging what this little darling is going to look like in five years (he's older than he looks, people, I'm not that sick! Okay, yes, I am, but... oh I don't even have a leg to stand on here).)
Anyhoo, I got:
1. The outfit "Blush Becomes Her" for my Fashion Model Barbie #4 because, well, look at her -- she'd totally scratch my eyes out if I didn't get it for her.
2. Some Levi's 515's, which are the only ones that fit my weird-ass body.
3. Two bottles of Bath & Body Work's lotion in Toasted Hazelnut scent, cuz that's Younger Sister's fav and the heartless B&BW bastards discontinued it (mine is Warm Vanilla Sugar, if anyone cares, cuz it smells like cookies).
4. This kicky, little, knit vintage number for Barbie because she saw it in the window and just had to have it.
5. A Victoria's Secret bra for a kick-ass price. No, I'm not telling you what size.
6. The skirt to this 1971 ensemble because Mattel (tm) has yet to make Barbie a plaid mini-skirt that I can resist (let's not even delve into the reasons for that, eh?).
7. The dress that completes my Buffy doll from the old t.v. show "Family Affair." At the moment, she's just in her polka-dot undies clutching her wee Mrs. Beasley doll, and she's quite chilly, doncha know.
8. A light switch cover featuring a vintage graphic of Barbie on the phone, for my new home office, once it ceases to be Ophelia's room. In seven months. Not that I'm counting.
9. This "Skiing Vacation" outfit for Fashion Model Barbie, the demanding bitch who runs my life.
10. "Boulevard Fashion" for guess who - Little Miss I Have Nothing To Wear.
Yet to purchase:
11. This dress from the "Lisette" Fashion Model Barbie. Seriously, that harpie is never happy.
12. The glorious and delightfully-tacky Hard Rock Barbie #1. I mean, I have all this money burning a whole in my pocket, and I've been worshipping her from afar for a year now, so why the hell not? I realize I could buy four vintage outfits for what they're going to rape me for her, but... Gawd, she's just so kewl, I love her.
13. A Christmas present for Big Gay Joe, who turned me on to the Barbie obsession in the first place. I'm thinking vintage Barbie jewelry, cork wedgies or other completer accessories, but it's so hard because, seriously, the man has fucking EVERYTHING. Dude has over 300 dolls. 'Nuff said.
I should just put down the mouse and back away. But I'm not gonna. Nuh-uh! And you can't make me! You're not the boss of me! Besides, I still have plenty of Christmas bonus left, and Barbie knows it!