February 07, 2005
I *Heart* Midwestgrrl
I love Midwestgrrl almost as much as I love Dooce, partly because I, too, am a Midwesterner. And partly because she's so funny I often laugh out loud, causing my coworkers to eyeball me, and that's awesome. Cuz if they think I'm crazy, they stay away!
Anyhoo, I was reading some of her archives, and I found this post, which kind of, in my interpretation, gives a big ol' FUCK YOU to those on the coasts who call our home "flyover country." Uppity bastards.
Okay, I'll reprint her post here, in case you're too lazy or inept to use the link. It's short enough. And I cannot make this clear enough: THE FOLLOWING WAS NOT WRITTEN BY ME. IT BELONGS TO MIDWESTGRRL (from Nov. 26, 2003).
"Caught a repeat episode of Rich Girls on MTV last night and am positive I heard the following from our Jaime: "People in the Midwest don't buy cargo pants to go with a sexy top and stilettos, like I would... they buy them because they have lots of pockets, and they work in the fields, and they need them.""That is so stupid. I mean, particularly if you work in a corn field. Because corn is like, very big. And so you carry it in a backpack or something. Pockets are more for carrying like, beads to trade with Indians for land, or maybe carrots to give the horses when they tire of pulling the wagon. I would have a lot more to say about this but the candle-dipping racks are all set up in the keeping room and I have to go."
And of course, I had to show Heather, because we so envy people who are funny, and because we were talking about our loathing of coastal folk earlier that very day.
H: and, the only thing I wear when detasselling corn, in the fields? sexy stillettos.
Me: I prefer thigh-hi boots and a spandex mini, but I'm old-fashioned
H: I've noticed that about you. and your sensitive skin and all.
Me: and really, stillettos? with cargo pants? clearly you should be wearing overalls with any heel over 1 inch. puh-LEEZ. it's almost like they've never even BEEN to a barn raising!
H: OBVIOUSLY. now she's going to say she wears flip flops with cutoffs. tacky!
Me: cutoffs are for HIKING BOOTS!
H: heh. or t-straps with 3" heels!
Me: or moccassins with argyle socks, depending on the event
H: I've been to several barn raisings. Seriously. but I think I got to wear a tube top to one, so I am at least somewhat fashion-aware...
Me: oooh tube top. so it was an after-five barn raising?
H: eventually, yes. and I REALLY DID. have a tube top. it was awesome.
Me: I'll bet you looked so hot, old Jebediah went home and "knew" his mule that night.
H: NO idea how it stayed up, but I was 5, so...whatevah.
Me: oh, you were 5, sorry. did you really go to a barn raising? cuz I'll be so jealous
H: well, every October until I was in high school, we stayed at my cousin's farm in Door County. and we had several barn raisin's that I can recall. one on our property, and the others with neighbors.
Me: ohmigod! That's so cool!
Oh, it's no wonder they mock us.