February 02, 2005
THERE WAS NO LAVENDER!
So, when Husband was first evicted from his daughters' lives and his beautiful home of 15 years which he had just gotten the way he wanted, he went a little bachelor-nutty and made some decisions -- mainly purchases -- that his normal self would not have made. Like the Ab-Master, bought off the television at 2 a.m. And the 500 lb. leather vibrating couch with the phone in it.
He also let his daughters decorate the bathroom in his new house. They were 11 and 14 at the time. To this day, Case cannot match shirt to pants, but he let them pick the color scheme. And they chose TURQUOISE.
But things have a way of working themselves out. The dusty Ab-Master has long since been thrown away, and even tho' the vibrating and the phone were never hooked up, I have come to love the leather couch with the two built-in recliners and fold-down beverage holders. Husband can chat pleasantly with Ex without breathing fire, and I've managed to get rid of the TURQUOISE bathroom.
Did I mention there were fish? On the shower curtain, on the bathmat, on the rugs, on the towels. Oh my God, it was just so juvenile. Not to mention that the rest of our house is EARTH TONES, so Sponge Bob's underwater lair stood out. Just. A little. Bit.
But for two and a half years, I've been reluctant to mention my burning desire to change it because I assumed he'd have some sentimental attachment to it. And yes, I know that sounds odd, but this is the man it took six months to convince that Ophelia's room does not need to remain a shrine to her but can, indeed, be turned into My Office, without erasing her from the face of the earth.
I'm ashamed to admit that it took me two and a half years to come up with a foolproof plan to get my way. The answer was so obvious -- pinecones!
Pinecones, you say? That's random... or so it would seem. But the thing is, Husband is OBSESSED with pinecones. Seriously. He collects them -- from walnut-sized pinecones to football-sized pinecones -- and we have then in every room of our house. Hence the earthy theme; the pinecones had to be incorporated. It was in the wedding vows. And hey, I have about 150 Barbies, so who am I to question?
I printed off some pinecone decor I'd found online and presented him with it as an alternative to SCREAMING AQUA BLUE. And he totally went for it. Natch.
But then I hit another possible snag. He didn't like the color I picked out. Actually, HE picked it out,... from a choice of colors I gave him. But when he saw Behr's Moss Green on the walls, he started getting reeeeeeeeally nervous.
"It's brown."
"It's not brown!"
"It's too dark! It's brown!"
"There's no brown! Just like there was no lavender in the Robin's Egg Blue in Case's room before you repainted it turquoise! IT'S MOSS GREEN!"
"Oh, there was lavender!"
"Twenty people came over and saw no lavender! You're COLOR BLIND!"
"It's too dark."
"Suck it up."
But now the cabinet is back up, with the new wrought iron towel bars, and the pinecone border is up, and the pinecone shower curtain, pinecone towels, decorative basket o' pinecones, etc. Yes, I know I have just replaced fishie overkill with pinecone overkill. But I'm okay with that. And so is Husband. Which means he'll be spending even MORE time in there. So I got a nice vanilla scented candle, too.
And as we were falling asleep Sunday night, I rolled over and said, "So, who's the best husband in the world for going along with what his wife wanted and is totally getting a blowjob?"
And then I realized, "You know, it's probably unethical to reward desired behavior with sex..."
"I DON'T MIND!!!"
Heh.