March 22, 2005
An Intellectual Discussion
After my St. Patrick's Day post, Anne emailed me and started arguing about the validity of the claim that the Irish are special, citing historical blahbity bleeh blah bloh. And I played along for a bit, but mostly, I just wanted to be annoyed and leave it at that.
And Anne was like, "Oh. I thought you wanted to have an intellectual discussion."
And now you're wondering why the hell she would think that's even possible with me. And normally, I'd call you all asshats,... except that you're absolutely right. She's insane for thinking I'd rather have a well-thought-out discourse than just be pissy.
But that's why I love Anne. She continues to give me the benefit of the doubt, no matter how often I prove I'm an idiot.
So here's what we chose to debate at length instead: frosting.
Me: So. Sunday is [older sister's] birthday, and I'm making her cake. We always do angel food cake with chocolate frosting.
Anne: That's a really heavy frosting for angel food cake.
Me: I know. Most people do fruit or glaze, but we're freaks. Anyway, I'm excited because, instead of struggling to make one tub of frosting cover the whole cake, I just bought two tubs!
Anne: Yeah, I would imagine that would be hard. Can't you just buy one tub and thin it or something?
Me: Well, then it would be runny and not set up and bleh.
Anne: Hmm. I suppose you could whip it with some marshmallow fluff...
Me: Oooh! Then I'd have TWO jars to lick!
Anne: ... but that would alter the taste too much. What about the whipped frosting? It's more spreadable.
Me: I hate that whipped frosting. I mean, they're whipping air into the frosting, so you get less frosting, but you're still paying the same amount! It's a rip-off!
Anne: See, I have a whole other attitude about the whipped stuff. It's the same tub of frosting, but with less fat and calories.
Me: It's an interesting approach, but I just can't get behind it. It's the principle, dammit!
Anne: Well, you could always just buy one tub of the regular frosting, then whip it yourself.
And that's when it dawned on me -- Anne is a goddamn GENIUS.