March 14, 2005
Today's Guest Blogger: A Very Disgusted Nicholle
Props to my mother-in-law for the Gay Pride Birthday Sweater. I am not gay, or a petite, or a 2x.
In the parking lot of the birthday dinner restaurant the box is thrust at me. Why am I getting this now? Why wasn't it brought in?
After a post-family-party drink, I am pressured by my sister-in-law to open it. The alcohol prohibits me from controlling my face muscles, which twitch in horror as she screeches, "It's a sweater! It's a sweater!"
My bro-in-law -- actual blood kin of the mother-in-law -- after the tense must-protect-my-mother vibe, practically spits on it and proclaims it horrid.
Husband says, "She tried to get it in your size." I'm sorry, let me moo and squat. No mother should buy any adult more than three years younger than her any clothing.
I avoid calling or writing mother-in-law for one week.
M.I.L. then calls and says, "I hear I got you an ugly sweater."
"Where'd ya hear that?"
My bro-in-law told her that not even a teacher who wears ugly sweaters would wear that.
I say, "Well, that solves the thank-you note problem!"
She gives her blessing to donate sweater. I go one further and donate image to Pirate Wench's ugly sweater collection.
[Note from Pirate Wench: My original idea for a category was "My Boss' Ugly Sweaters," which became "Unfortunate Clothing Choices," and is now simply "Couture." The whole thing was inspired by the unspeakably evil sweater worn by one of my bosses, but I wasn't incorporating photos at the time. Well, I am now! And there will be more repugnancy to come, I promise!]