May 26, 2005
And He Wanted Ours To Match!
Something is going on in Illinois that upsets me.
They –- and we all know who they are –- are considering the idea of making it illegal to ride a motorcycle without a helmet.
Now, I don’t own a motorcycle, and if I did, I would probably wear a helmet. At least some of the time, like on the highway. I’ve dated bikers (Harley bikers, no less) and if you haven’t experienced the wind through your hair on a Harley, go out and do it right now. NOW! For God’s sake, quit reading this lame blog and do it!
I’ll wait.
...
See? That’s why it’s a shitty law. I’d wear a helmet, because my parents have already lost one child, and I don’t want them to go through that again (although, if they had to pick one to lose, I’m sure it’d be me). But I would never, ever make anyone else wear one. It’s just mean.
I remember hearing a story on the news when California passed their helmet law. One old biker dude took out his gun and blew his head off -– the ultimate wind-in-your-hair experience, I would imagine.
And when questioned, his wife simply said, “I understand.”
She missed him, hell yea, BUT... she understood why he couldn’t live inside a helmet.
I had this conversation with Husband two seconds after lying down the credit card for new bicycles:
“Now let’s pick out helmets!” he said.
“Haaaaa ha ha ha ha ha!”
“They have some really cool looking ones.”
“That’s great. Find a cool one. I’m gonna find the bathroom.”
“Want me to pick one out for you?”
“I’m not buying one.”
“What?!”
“Wait -– you were serious? You want me to wear a helmet to ride a bicycle?”
“Of course!”
“I’ve been successfully riding a bike since I was seven! I don’t need a helmet! I’m not riding down volcanos!”
“But you have to wear one!”
“There’s no law! And it’s gay!”
“Well, if you get in an accident and become a vegetable, and I have to take care of you for the rest of your life, I’m gonna be really mad!”
“Whatever, dude. I’m not getting a helmet.”
And you know, on the way home, I was actually starting to think about the vegetable thing. I was like, ‘You know, Husband does sorta have a point there.’
And then out of nowhere, he goes, “I’m sorry about the vegetable comment. That was really mean. You know I’d take care of you.”
And that, dear readers, is when I WON.
And please, don’t bother telling me about your friend Steve who wouldn’t be alive today if he hadn’t been wearing his helmet while out biking. I’M NOT WEARING A HELMET.
Also, don’t ever expect me to wear elbow pads, knee pads, shin guards, safety goggles, carpel tunnel wristlets, steel-toed boots or a hard hat.
However, I do wear earplugs when I go shooting. I mean, c’mon, I’m not a total idiot.
Comments
I totally agree, it's totally gay to wear a helmet when you're just riding your bike from your house to the library or something.
I mean, we're adults!
*and* we live in the suburbs!
Seriously!
helmet = riding the short bus
Posted by: heather at May 26, 2005 11:45 AM
Yea
I have been hit by a few cars over the years while riding my bike and I wasn't wearing a helmet ever...
on second thought maybe it's not such a bad idea...
Posted by: Mord at May 26, 2005 12:17 PM
Not wearing a helmet is a good idea. It helps the potential Darwin Award candidates achieve their place on the roster. . . it keeps the gene pool filtered and clean.
All the crazies will eventually do themselves in so only sensible riders will be left.
Posted by: InnocentBystander at May 26, 2005 02:54 PM
I,m still getting use to a seatbelt! I don't like wearing that either! My skullet is the only helmut I need!!!!!!!!!!!!!! garrance
Posted by: garrance at May 26, 2005 03:32 PM
Okay, no Steve or nothing, but I DID have a professor who lost her leg in a bike accident. She had a fake and I never even knew it until the last day of class when she gave her "wear your helmet" speech.
I have no idea what that has to do with your story except, when it comes to bikes, its the only story I got.
Posted by: Queen of Ass at May 27, 2005 08:36 AM
I don't understand this story. Was this professor advocating some sort of "leg helmet"? If not, I fail to see how someone who uses such specious reasoning as "Ilost my leg, so wear a helmet." would be allowed to teach.
Posted by: ASSMAN at May 31, 2005 06:35 PM
We are totally in sync - this is exactly why I didn't do Bike the Drive this weekend. While it would be totally cool to be allowed on lsd w/o cars - they FORCE you to wear a helmet. Cmon - we rode our bikes 19 hours a day as kids & I never fell on my head - teh other parts of the body are much closer to the concrete. AND have you seen these poor kids with teh helmets? You remember how hard it was to dirch the training wheels - now you are totally off balance bc they can barely hold their necks up
Posted by: qfe at June 1, 2005 07:57 AM
Y'know way back when, I was riding down a deserted 2nd avenue on a completely quiet summer evening when a woman ran out into the street from in front of a van. When we collided I shot 15 feet through the air over the handle bars and landed on my head. Yes, I like to go fast. The doctor scolded me for not wearing a helmet, when I said I was wearing one, the look of shock on his face, and his comment "Wow, if you weren't you'd be dead." scared the shit out of me. I welcome a helmet, and if you want to risk death, or if you are lucky nausea, memory loss, and falling to the floor every time you look down for two weeks, then there ought to be some kind of disclaimer for the rest of us, who think life is worth living even with a hot sweaty head of helmut hair.
Posted by: clickmom at June 1, 2005 09:23 AM