May 20, 2005
Food Critics
Jerry's parents both work for the same organization and therefore, sometimes have to go on the same business trips together. When that happens, Jerry stays at our place. He likes to stay in Case's room because she has a lava lamp and glow-in-the-dark stars on her ceiling. Grooooooooovy!
A while back, when switching Daisy from puppy chow to dog chow, I did much deliberating and product research. Not because I'm one of those freaks who thinks of her dog as her very own offspring (*cough* PJ *cough*), but because she was pooping FOUR TIMES A DAY. And dude? That's just too much poop.
I finally found a fancy-schmancy, nouveau-cuisine, oven-baked dog food that's made with less fillers, so she eats less and, consequently, poops less, while still getting the nutrition she needs. Yes, we have our dog's food shipped from Texas. Bite me.
Jerry was staying at our place when we got our first shipment of dog food. So Husband poured a bag into the big Container Store vat in the pantry, and Daisy was totally spazzing out, whining and tap-dancing around the vat. Which, naturally, made us wonder if this dog food tasted way better than, say, your average dog food.
Well, there's only one way to find out, right?
We each picked up a kibble and nibbled on it. And really? I think it tastes like drywall, which is also what Milkbones tastes like to me. Yes, I've tried a Milkbone. I'm CURIOUS, okay? God! You'd think you people have never stuck anything questionable in your mouths! Dog food is good enough for homeless people! What -- are you better than homeless people?!
Wait a minute. Of course, we are.
Anyhoo, there we stood, nibbin' on the kibble, and Case came by.
"What are you guys eating?"
"Kibble."
"Ew! ... Lemme try."
Then Jerry came by and saw Case eating something, so of course, he wanted some.
"It's dog food."
"Ew! ... Can I try some?"
So we generously shared our kibble with him, and we all four pretty much agreed that we couldn't see what Daisy was so excited about.
Fast forward a couple months. Jerry was eating dinner with his folks and apparently didn't care for what his mother was serving.
And in that charming way that little boys have, he said, "Gross! This tastes like dog food!"
Thinking that she'd shut him up, his mom said, "Really? How do you know what dog food tastes like?"
"I had some over at Pirate Wench's!"
Jaws dropped, forks clanked to the floor, and Jerry won that argument.
Great.
Comments
I bet Jerry's mom has been extremely over-impressed with you since then, right? Of course she is! How could she not be???
Posted by: Queen of Ass at May 20, 2005 10:31 PM