May 03, 2005
Lean Cuisines, Five for Ten Bucks
Today, I'm blogging about Heather's work because she's too chicken.
On Friday night, I was Heather's stunt boyfriend. D from work gave her two tickets to "Wicked" cuz he couldn't use them.
And let me just pause to say... FREE TICKETS TO "WICKED"!!! IT WAS WICKED AWESOME!!! RUN, DON'T WALK, TO THE ORIENTAL THEATRE!!!
Anyhoo, several weeks ago, D happened to mention in front of Heather and their co-worker, Andrea, that he had these tickets, which made Andrea sit up and beg and yap, "Heather, I'll totally take you!"
Now, mind you, Heather is not all that fond of Andrea. She's nice to her for the sake of office harmony, but Andrea is what is known in the workplace as a Hoverer. She'll submit a job ticket to Heather, and then come back and ask about it every hour.
So, in an act of passive-aggressiveness that I heartily endorse, for every time that Andrea asks, Heather moves her job ticket one place lower in the stack. Heh.
Well, apparently, D doesn't particularly care for Andrea, either, because he gave his "Wicked" tickets to Heather. And because Heather is a nice person, she considered inviting Andrea... for about a nanosecond. Then she put down the crack pipe and invited me. (Her boyfriend hates musicals, hence Wenchie the Stunt Boyfriend, and I love that gig because the benefits are awesome).
This morning, Heather got an email from Andrea. And then a split second later, she got another one with the subject line: PLEASE DELETE THAT LAST EMAIL! IT WAS MEANT FOR MY MOTHER!
Oh, c'mon. Who could resist that?! Well, Heather couldn't, and neither could you, be honest. Here's the email:
Hey Mom,
Just wanted to tell you I didn't end up saying anything to H today about the play. I did email her in the afternoon when I was bored b/c I ran out of options and she was a bit rude. But the funniest part was in the am when I asked her about a ticket and she started an email with trust me, if I had one, I'd give it to you or tell you....hahaaaaa.....yeah right....
D and I had a convo today too. Short but normal. I think he started it, but I had to be off to that stupid wkly to-do mtg so I didn't get any real info. We'll see...
And, Jewel had lean cuisines 5/$10! Amazing!
Love you,
Andrea
Heather laughed her ass off and, of course, immediately forwarded it to me.
PW: you should totally put it on your website!
H: she's too stupid to write something good.
H: and: who e-mails about groceries?
PW: the lean cuisine part is my favorite
H: totally.
PW: but what's really obnoxious is that it's written as if her Mom totally knows what's going on cuz she rags about you all the time
H: oh, I know. that's worse than if it was explicit, even.
PW: I still think you should it in your blog
H: tempting.
PW: want me to put it o my blog?
H: ooH! that's better!
H: (i've started a monster! Its' dooce Deux)
PW: and she says "H" in stead of Heather
PW: you must be a regular character in the drama of her life!
H: TOTALLY.
H: I'm going to flick boogers at her at recess. wanna come?
Comments
Is THAT why my web jobs aren't done yet??? Sh**. I better rush right over to your desk to see what the problem is.
BTW, I was left abaondoned at recess, bag of boogers in-hand, and not a soul to flick them at. She's on to you H. I bet her mom found out about the booger plan and warned her in advance.
...or maybe she's just at Jewel hoping that a few more weeks on the Lean Cuisines will do the trick.
Posted by: Heather's timid co-worker at May 5, 2005 12:25 PM
if you come anywhere near my cube, I'll delay your tickets into next november, dude.
if you still have that bag of boogers, I think there are a few cube-farmers around here we could flick 'em at...
Posted by: heather at May 5, 2005 01:16 PM
I'm game but I'm afriad because they weren't stored properly, they are more like sharp booger SHARDS now. Let the mucous mayhem ensue!
Actually, considering our surroundings, these cube-farmers probably already have their own bag. This could get messy.
Posted by: Heather's timid co-worker at May 5, 2005 01:26 PM