May 23, 2005
This Is a Public Service Announcement
Gentlemen. Please. For the love of all things holy.
Is anyone fooled by this? Besides the wearer?
I wasn't fooled, and yet, I was entranced. So much so that I almost missed my stop.
Do you see how the part starts on the bottom of the back of his head? And never gets higher than two inches over his left ear? He literally has to comb half of it UP.
Now, guys, I feel for ya. I really do. I know it must be hard to loose your hair. God knows, if I lost mine, I'd become a hermit and launch bottle rockets at anyone who approached my house. But I wouldn't comb my hair up. No matter how desperate I became.
But this? This fools no one into thinking you have a lush, Fabio-esque head of hair.
But actually, I don't blame the men. No, I blame their barbers! What shitty barber college did they go to that taught them it was okay to do this to their clients?! This poor man paid good money to look like this!
I'm so upset, I have to return to My Happy Place by thinking of sexy bald/balding men.
Patrick Stewart, better known as Jean Luc Picard
Bruce Willis, better known as Ashton Sr.
Vin Diesel
Samuel L. Jackson
Billy Zane
Ving Rhames
My Hott Boss
Bruce Campbell
Okay, Bruce Campbell isn't really balding, but he's a permanant resident in My Happy Place, and I'm sure his shiney scalp would be every bit as lucious as the rest of him.
But I digest.
ALSO bad: The Skullet. That's where you're going bald in front, so you grow a ponytail in back to compensate, but it really just looks like your hair slipped or something.
In short, gentlemen, aging gracefully and confidently is sexier than any combover or toupee. And a big, fat wallet doesn't hurt.
You may now return to your regularly scheduled... whatever.
[Photo courtesy of Heather's camera-phone]
Comments
OH MY HOLY MOTHER OF GOD! (And I'm NOT Catholic. I just play one on TV.) That's seriously pathetic! I so have to raise my glass to you, Wenchy, and say, "Here, here!"
Posted by: Queen of Ass at May 23, 2005 09:33 PM
I was sitting right there, and I still can't believe this combover.
gravity-defying.
I agree with wenchie, that the barber is to blame...
but I have to add my two cents - a big fat wallet might be nice, but I prefer a plumpness in the front of the trousers....if you know what I mean....
Posted by: heather at May 24, 2005 08:57 AM
I KNEW that was you sitting behind me on the bus. Who the hell do you think you are taking shots of my gorgeous melon without my expressed, written consent??? Have you ever considered that I'm not trying to "hide" the bald spot, but rather treat it as a canvas to display my creative combing solutions? BTW, why didn't you get a shot of my braided nose hair or my flowing ear folicles?
Posted by: Heather's timid co-worker at May 24, 2005 08:59 AM
Regarding plumpness in the front of the trousers...does elephantitis of the testes count?
Posted by: Heather's timid co-worker at May 24, 2005 11:37 AM
A skullet would have helped this bad comb-over!!! Scullets rock!!!!! Everyone should have one!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by: garrance at May 24, 2005 04:21 PM
Waaaaaahhhaaaaaa. I was looking at this picture with that feeling of "hmm, this looks familiar" and trying to figure out why when........ into my office JUST such a hairdo walked!
So, yeah, DUH! One of my co-workers has the same EXACT hairdo-but in grey, right down to the how-the-hell-do-they-train-a-part-that-low-anyway?????...well, part.Hideous.
The husband (yeah, mine) is loosing a lot of his on top, it's awfully thin, and I'm catching him trying to do a combination of the two techniques and I'm honestly not very happy about it. But, on the up side, I'm trying to cut a deal with his barber to CUT THAT SHIT OUT WILL YOU???
What do you think darling Pirate Wench? Personally, I don't think I have enough rum in my system, but that is just me.
ew.
Posted by: Scarlett Cyn at May 29, 2005 03:46 AM