June 09, 2005
Meeting the Whole Famn Damily
Know what’s always a good story? How people met their spouse.
My parents met in high school, and Dad used to ride Mom around on the back of his bike, until his mother finally said, “When are you gonna marry that girl?!”
I met Husband in the percussion section of the musical-comedy group we’re both in. I joined it in 1990, a mere (and hott) 20 years old, so Husband was still a 32 year old Ned Flanders look-alike married to The Ex. I played cymbals, he played bass drum. Neither of us are percussionists, by the way.
But even funnier, I think, are the stories of meeting your Significant Other’s parents/family, as was discussed over dinner one night with my cousins and their S.O.s.
Egrau met J when she was dancing on the bar at a biker bar downtown. The bartender said that, if he got eight women to dance on the bar, he’d give everyone in the place a free watermelon shot. And Egrau was all, “I get to dance on the bar AND get a free shot?! Sign me up!” She looked down while dancing, and there was Mr. Fabulous.
They’d been dating a while when J picked up Egrau, who was all decked out in fuck-me boots and hooker earrings, ready to go out clubbing. It wasn’t until after they were on the road that J broke the news that he needed to “stop by” his mom’s house and take her two air conditioners out of the windows.
Egrau was, of course, horrified. And with good reason. But when they arrived, J’s mom and aunt were equally horrified, but for a very different reason. They were in their house dresses and hair curlers. Mortification all around! Wheeeee! And the “stop by” turned out to be two hours. Two hours of Tassle McPoledance drinking tea at the kitchen table with Patty and Selma.
Ramone met PJ’s mom when he drove PJ beyond the Cheddar Curtain to pick up a gun cabinet from her parents. Then he drove back there to get her mom and all her things, so she could live with PJ during the divorce. Then Ramone moved in with the two ladies. To live in sin. That’s one cool mom.
However, that was waaaaaaaaaay before any of us even knew that Ramone had a girlfriend. He kinda keeps to himself. Like the Unibomber. There were rumors flying around the family that Ramone had been spotted with a cute brunette, but none of us even knew her name.
And you know how Ramone chose to indoctrinate PJ to the family? AT MY WEDDING. She met the whole damn family at once and was forced to spend all day with us. SOBER even, lest she give a bad, drunken (albeit correct) first impression.
Yeah, she wins.
Comments
Sober? Geez. The woman's a saint!
Posted by: Queen of Ass at June 10, 2005 02:05 PM