June 03, 2005
Truly a Bold Statement
One of the VPs here has an outfit that just kills me every time he wears it. And it's not like he ever wears the pants with a different shirt, or the shirt with different pants. No, this is an outfit, for sure.
Finally, I worked up the nerve to say, “Dude, I’ve gotta get a picture of that outfit.”
“Is it really bad?”
“No, no, no! It’s bold!”
“Do I look gay?” (He's definately a good ol' boy and, therefore, a homophobe.)
“No, a gay man would have better shoes.”
“Okay, good. Cuz my wife and kids were making fun of some outfits I bought and telling me I look gay.”
Oh, I cannot wait to see the new outfits!
And lest I give you the wrong impression, I have absolutely no business whatsoever critiquing peoples' appearances. I can barely dress myself, which is why my wardrobe is half black, half all-the-same-style-shirt-in-different-colors.
Yes, I have the long, golden tresses and the round, ample melons going on, but those things aside, I'm a wreck. Especially in the summer.
You see, summer and I don't get along. It makes my silky hair fuzzy and fluffy, and not in the adorable-cuddly-kitten kind of way. I brought my skirts out of hibernation for the first time yesterday and blinded two of my co-workers when I got outta my car and the sun glinted off the fish-belly skin of my legs.
Today, I wore some cute, strappy sandals to work, and by 10am I was ready to amputate my feet because strappy = cutty-into-my-footy, and walking around on bloody stumps would be more comfortable. I'm now in white gym shoes, which really go well with my all-black ensemble. I'm wearing a black Eddie Bauer v-neck t-shirt and black pajama pants. To which I added a necklace because that makes it "dressy" and, therefore, "work appropriate."
No fashionista I. I'm just a bitch with a camera who likes making fun of people.
Comments
I love how he thinks the brightly colored outfit might make people think he's gay.
like, gay = awful color combo?
seriously. they have the rainbow flag not because they like rainbows, rather, to challenge themselves into making it look less tacky than it really is.
only the gays would have the skills to pull complex color coordination off well.
your boss is SO not gay.
Posted by: heather at June 3, 2005 01:53 PM
I have witnessed this first hand & must say that accurate as this shot is - the colors are more terrifying in live fluorescnet light
Posted by: qfe at June 3, 2005 02:02 PM
I can't decide which is funnier...
His outfit or that fact that he would willing be photographed in the outfit
Posted by: Mord at June 3, 2005 02:12 PM
I would totally wear something like that...LOL
Posted by: Big Daddy at June 3, 2005 02:39 PM
OH MY GOD! LMAO
That is NOT complex color coordination, Heather. That's just plain colorblind mistake!
Posted by: Queen of Ass at June 3, 2005 02:59 PM
oh, QoA, that whole diatribe was my special olympics way of saying "omg, he can't combine colors for the life of him!"
Posted by: heather at June 3, 2005 03:04 PM
To quoteth from Airplane! is most appropriate here. Ahem.
"Where did you get those Shooooes? And that shirt... and those pants.... Sheesh!"
Posted by: InnocentBystander at June 3, 2005 04:12 PM
This man is my new hero.
Please, you must tell me where he shops.
Posted by: ASSMAN at June 3, 2005 04:54 PM
No, he doesn't look gay. A gay man would have better taste, or else the gay fashion police would track him down and revoke his gay license. He just looks like a dork who can't dress himself.
Posted by: Mickey at June 3, 2005 04:55 PM