July 13, 2005
Beltless in Seattle
Every morning, Anne, Nicholle and I break out of our beige cubes and walk around the exterior of our building. (Twice around is a mile!)
Wait, ammend that -- every morning, Anne and Nicholle meet in the lobby at our pre-ordained time, bitch about me never being on time, think seriously about Heathering me, call me in a huff, and then I have to pee.
And THEN we walk around our building.
There's not much to see -- trees, trollish smokers from Verizon, the landscapers, the daycare Baby Parade. But yesterday, right outside one of the entrances, I found a belt.
Just lying on the ground. It's a woman's leather belt, and the bitch has a Scarlet O'Hara waistline. But... it was just lying on the ground. Right outside an office building.
How do you not know that your belt has fallen off? Especially if it's there to keep your pants up because, you're obviously so skinny that you have no ass to do the job?
And then how do you not notice that it's missing, and go retrace your steps to the car? And how is there no one around you, in the morning rush to work, that sees it and says, "Hey, your belt just fell off!"
And why the purple filling in the Hostess cupcakes? WHY, GOD, WHYYYYYYY?!
So, I picked it up and took it with me. I don't know why. It's sitting on my desk right now.
This morning. Same entrance. A white sock. Only a few feet from where I found the belt.
Someone in our building is spontaneously molting her clothes and doesn't even realize it.
I hope I find a shirt tomorrow.
Comments
I suppose it's just not amusing enough to guess that someone has a hole in her workout bag.....
Posted by: heather at July 14, 2005 08:48 AM
I have several shirts with the company logo on them. Want 'em?
Reminds me. . . I once did some training for our tightwad, cheap-ass, penny-pinching sister company. The GM of this operation is SO tight, that when he walks - he squeaks. If you stuck a piece of coal up his butt, in six weeks you'd have a diamond. You get the idea.
But I digress.
Anyhoo - as a 'thank you' for the training I did (it's not in my job description) one of the managers gave me a denim shirt with their logo embroidered on it. Nice shirt (back in the day when denim shirts were still OK to wear). But when he gave it to me, he said "Please, please, please don't wear this at the office! If Rodney (the GM - not his real name) knew I gave you this he'd have a fit. I'd never hear the end of it."
Nice.
I removed the buttons, used it to wash the car for that season, and then tossed it.
Posted by: InnocentBystander at July 14, 2005 10:27 AM
Maybe a nice camisole?
Posted by: Queen of Ass at July 14, 2005 10:44 AM
Your story reminds me of the day I found a red, lacy bra in the laying in the parking lot of the catholic church next door. In the middle of a Minnesota winter. I considered taking it inside and depositing it in their lost and found box...
Posted by: mmerriam at July 20, 2005 10:16 AM