July 06, 2005
Towels and Painting and Hangers -- Oh My!
So, the day before we were supposed to leave on my traditional 4th of July vacation at our summer-home-on-the-lake with my family, I get an answering machine message from Mom, who was already at the cabin with Dad.
"Can you go to our house and bring me a couple pairs of pants and a sweatshirt when you come up? It's chilly up here. Oh, and also grab a couple of big bath towels. I forgot to pack any."
Now, this woman has been packing to go to our cabin for FORTY-FIVE YEARS. She knows it's surrounded by Lake Michigan and forest and is, therefore, cold. She knows we swim a lot and, therefore, need lots of towels. She brought NO TOWELS!
I don't know which is more horrifying -- the thought of my parents not bathing until we arrived, or the thought of my parents... air-drying.
*shudder*
Then, I get a call from Dad. He's on his cell. The nearest cell tower being, of course, on the other side of the lake. (Mom was at least bright enough to go to a friend's house and use a landline phone. That's right -- no phone at the cabin. Primative, sure, but for the first several years they had NO indoor plumbing and NO electricity. So even though I'm writing this on a clay tablet with a sharp stick to be typed up upon my return, I consider myself lucky. At least I never had to beat cloth diapers on a rock at the water's edge. My mother is a saint.)
Where the hell was I? Ah, yes. I hear from Dad.
"Hi. It's ~ ~ crackle ~~ seventy-fifth ~ ~ crackle ~ ~ Laura ~ ~ crackle ~ ~ party ~ ~ crackle ~ ~ painting ~ ~ crackle ~ ~ Maureen."
And here's my end of the conversation.
"Dad? Dad! I can't hear you! Go in the back yard and stand on the big rock! Dad! Can you hear me?"
*click*
Hokay then. Luckily, I was able to use my enormous brain to decipher Dad's code. I figure he said something to the effect of:
"Hi. It's your Daddy. It's the seventy-fifth anniversary of when the cabin was built, so Laura and Carlene [my cousins] are throwing a party. Bring the painting of me that Maureen did."
Now, I didn't know what one had to do with the other, but I found out later that my cousins thought it would be funny to have Dad's portrait hanging over the fireplace for the party. Probably to remind us of what he looked like before he grew his patchy, grey beard and started scaring Boy Child with the Homeless Drunk look.
So, I went back to their house and got the painting. Then, I got a call from Billi's husband on his cell (he, Billi and the kids were up there already, too):
"Hey! Billi says to bring up some hangers!"
"GO TO THE HARDWARE STORE, YA IDIOT!" I yelled too late. He had already hung up. Idiot.
My car was so full of other peoples' stuff, is it any wonder I forgot to bring up bath towels for me and Husband?
Comments
Did you ever find out what one thing had to do with the other?
Posted by: Queen of Ass at July 6, 2005 04:53 PM
Don't you have Walmart up there???????????This is where to purchase all forgotten stuff!!!No more hauling!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Don't forget your Krups personal heater!
Posted by: garrance at July 6, 2005 05:59 PM