September 15, 2005
Much Ado About VAGINA
If you're squeamish, seriously, don't read this. Do us all a favor. Mom, this means you. You, too, Anne.
So, this is a conversation I had recently with my friend, whom I will refer to as X, for reasons that should be clear from the title:
PW: When do you wanna meet at the mall?
X: I have an appointment to see my gyne at 9:45, so I'll call you when I'm done.
PW: Oh, fun.
X: Yeah, I've been bleeding the past two nights after having sex. And it's not time for my period, so I'm kinda freaked out.
PW: You had sex two nights in a row?!
X: Yeah.
PW: What are you -- a machine?!
X: Well, we were on vacation with all our friends and didn't have sex for, like, a week.
PW: Gee, a whole week, huh? Are you trying to make the rest of us look bad?!
X: We had to make up for lost time!
PW: Whatever.
X: The nurse on the phone said it's probably just a simple infection.
PW: Were you swimming? I swear, I get some kind of infection every damn time I go in a public pool. I don't care how much chlorine they use -- those things are like petrie dishes.
X: No, I wasn't swimming... I'm trying to think of where my cooter has been, but it's only been in my undies and with [X's husband].
PW: Well, that's good to hear. I thought maybe you were a hooker, what with all the HAVING SEX TWO NIGHTS IN A ROW!!!
(Disclaimer: X's cooter is now fine, so, although I may be disgusting and completely void of compassion, as least I'm not inviting bad karma by posting this.)
Comments
Okay, so what was x's problem? Because I totally need to know in case this happens to my cooter.
Posted by: Queen of Ass at September 15, 2005 04:37 PM
X sounds hot.
Posted by: Fresh? at September 15, 2005 07:45 PM
Q.O.A., I love that you call it your cooter. I call it my coochie. To my daughter I say petunia. My friend calls it her coopie. Any other cute names out there? And, by the way, they never found a problem. The female body is a mystery!
Posted by: X at September 16, 2005 02:46 PM
After telling this you must tell us what the cause of the bleeding was.
Posted by: Finished.Law.School at September 16, 2005 05:39 PM
Mirkwood Forest...
Posted by: Marty at September 17, 2005 06:26 PM
Ooo, I remembered another one.... Who-ha! And I talked to my dr. today and they don't know the cause of the bleeding. The blood tests and ultrasound were normal. I can't wait to see how much they're gonna charge me to tell me nothing.
Posted by: X at September 21, 2005 12:14 PM