September 02, 2005
The Fly Whisperer
I should have known this trip would be, um... eventful. PJ, Egrau and I all have a tendency to be, um... flighty.
It began at the Oasis, where Egrau and I picked up PJ. Ramone was gonna just drop her off there -- with the truckers and the seriel killers in the wee hours of the morning -- but luckily he stayed. Because I locked my keys in the car.
During the first hour of our trip.
Forcing Ramone to morph into MacGyver and open the door with an umbrella.
Ah, but the best was yet to come.
Now, we all know that I haven't been able to eat lately, and we all know why. But even more unappetizing was Egrau's trouble, which almost kept her from going on the trip. She contracted the Ebola virus. At least, I'm assuming it was Ebola. That's what I surmized from her description.
"You know, at my age," she said, "I thought there was nothing my body could do that would surprize me. But I was wrong."
And then she said something about corn, and I was done listening.
The point is, neither Egrau nor I had had much of an appetite lately, and we were both looking quite peeked and wan. (I've lost 6 lbs! Whoo!) But by the time dinnertime rolled around on Sunday, we were pleasantly surprised to find ourselves quite famished.
It was just sunset, and it felt good to be in a place where the night air is actually chilly -- good sleeping weather. We went to a restaurant with a beautiful, rustic, all-wood interior, a menu full of fish caught that morning by the owners, and a staff of three. We were the only diners, the other tourists having already vacated the town.
PJ and I both ordered the spaghetti with meatballs (I don't know how those Swedes do spaghetti so well!), and Egrau had the whitefish. We had each taken maybe half a dozen bites, when PJ started coughing and gagging.
Egrau goes, "Oh my God, she swallowed a fly! I watched it happen!"
PJ excused herself to the bathroom, and let's just say that the soundproofing in that place left something to be desired. Egrau and I just sat there, forks hovering mid-air, staring at each other in horror.
Barf.
Barf.
Pause.
Barf.
PJ emerged, quite shaken, but remarkably composed, in my opinion, considering the fly had exited her body THROUGH HER NOSE.
Yeah, that's right -- in through the mouth, out through the nose. Are you gagging right now? Cuz I am.
At that point, Egrau and I were done eating, and there was only one thing for PJ to do: ditch the dinner, grab a beer. There are some horrors that only alcohol can help.
I must say, she was quite jovial about the whole thing by morning, joking and laughing. And it wasn't long before I didn't feel bad at all about mocking her!
I give her props for handling it so well. I would have had to spend the rest of my life in a plastic bubble if some insect went spelunking in my sinuses. She's a good sport, that PJ.
And then she got stung by a bee on the ride home.
Comments
IEW!!! THROUGH HER NOSEEEE?????? Blech!
Posted by: Queen of Ass at September 3, 2005 10:13 PM