October 04, 2005
Move Over, Barbie -- There's a New Girl In Town
For those of you just tuning in, I collect Barbies. I do not have fifteen cats. I do not keep my Barbies in their boxes. I've never paid more than $150 for a Barbie. In short, I am not insane.
I'm NOT!
Until now.
My friend and fellow Barbie collector, Joe, was recently the recipient of AN ENTIRE DINING ROOM FULL OF TOYS FROM THE LATE 70s/EARLY 80s, given to him by a friend who was cleaning out her attic. There were Barbies and other dolls -- lots of crap but a few gems. Joe looked it over, gleaned what few things he wanted, and then had me come over to see if there was anything I would like.
Ironically, even tho' I grew up in the 70s/80s, I hate the faces of the Barbies back then, all surprised and coked-out, like they were just caught snorting coke off their wee little CD cases. Stupid SurfControl at work won't let me watch videos of Kate Moss snorting coke!
I'm sorry -- where was I? Oh yeah. Hhhhhhate the Superstar Barbie face, so there wasn't much there that interested me. Until I laid eyes on... the Sack o' Strawberry Shortcake. Truly, it was a sight to behold -- all those green-and-white striped legs and pastel-colored afros. Eek.
I never played with them myself. No, really! Billi went through a brief phase where she couldn't stop sniffing their faux-fruit-scented heads, but she was young and just experimenting. She grew out of it quickly. Meanwhile, my tastes had already moved on to slingshots and BB guns. No, really!
But I know an opportunity when I see one. And I know that people my age are getting nostalgic and starting to re-collect their childhood toys.
"Dude, we are rich. We're so selling these on eBay."
And by we I mean me because Joe only checks his email, like, once a week, so clearly he's not computer-savvy (i.e. computer-dependant) enough to have mastered the complex intricasies of eBay.
So, I took them home and, with the help of eBay and some Geosites devoted exclusively to all things Strawberry Shortcake, managed to identify all the dolls and match the proper hat and pet to its master. "Bow to me, Pupcake! I am your Master!" "Please, Huckleberry Pie, not the nipple clamps!"
Um...
Anyhoo,...
I now know more than I ever wanted to know about Strawberry Shortcake.
Did you know that, the first year they were released, they had "flat hands" with all their fingers extended, and they didn't have any pets? Now, you'd think that being petless would render one less valuable, but actually, the first releases are more valuable. The second through fifth releases have curled fingers, so they can hold onto their tea cups, presumably.
Did you know that Orange Blossom (i.e. Token Black Shortcake) has a pet butterfly named Marmalade? Or that Crepe Suzette's pet's name is Eclair? I'll bet you didn't! Ha! Don't you feel stupid!
I spent an hour and a half of my life figuring out which doll was which and which accessories completed them. It was time I could have spent researching, oh... anything else on the internet. American history, astronomy, ship-building -- ANYTHING! But no. These are my priorities. Ask my anything about Strawberry Shortcake!
And then kill me.
But I am slightly consoled by the fact that one of the dolls we have just sold for $100 on eBay, and another for $90. So who feels stupid now?!
Comments
I'm so jealous! And I must confess, every once in a while, I do still sniff my daughter's Strawberry Shortcake and Apple Dumpling dolls heads. For Christmas this year, I'm going to get her Huckleberry Pie, or Angel Cake, or Orange Blossom, maybe Ginger Snap. I just can't decide!!! Or maybe the Strawberry Shortcake Scented Home!!! Excuse me... I have to go smell a pink afro now.
Posted by: Billi at October 4, 2005 02:28 PM
Um, I've just recently spied a Care Bears THONG in a retail store. Care Bears. THONG. Hmmmm.
I....... Now SMURFS on a thong, I totally understand. But NOT Care Bears.
I just wanted to bond with you. I'll shut up now. Must be all the novocaine the dentist shot up into my head a few hourse ago.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it!
Can we play swords now? I'm also extremely handy with a bow and arrow. (Bet you didn't know that).
Posted by: Scarlett Cyn at October 4, 2005 02:49 PM
Were there any Fisher Price Little People mixed in amongst the entire dining room full of toys??
Posted by: EverydaySuperGoddess at October 4, 2005 04:37 PM
$100 for a Strawberry Shortcake doll? OK, next lunch it totally on you!
(And thanks to having young daughters, I knew and could identify all of the characters you were talking about. Kill me. But not until after lunch.)
Posted by: Marty at October 4, 2005 05:49 PM
Nope, no Fisher Price Little People. Man, I miss those. I had the plane and the house and the farm and the bus. It rocked. Now all I have is the dog.
No Weebles, either. Oh, to have my Weebles Circus back!
(And Marty, I'm not buying you lunch. :P )
Posted by: Pirate Wench at October 4, 2005 07:52 PM
I have to say I hated strawberry shortcake and her ilk for one reason: becuase they promoted an unhealthy and unrealistic body image to young children.
seriously. short, squat, and smelly? it's WRONG, I tell you! WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by: heather at October 5, 2005 08:24 AM
Find me a Holly Hobby doll and we'll talk.
Posted by: Queen of Ass at October 5, 2005 01:20 PM