November 30, 2005
The Cure for the Grocery Blues
I hate grocery shopping. It's boring. There are geezers and people on cell phones in my way. Hauling groceries inside and putting them away makes my soul grieve for all the time I could be spending not wrangling groceries. And I hate cooking, which is grocery shopping's inevitable conclusion. Mind you, I loooooooooove eating. But groceries numb my noggin.
To make it more bearable, today, I decided to take a long lunch and do my shopping at the Dominick's near my work. That way, I'm somewhat comforted by the fact that I'm getting paid to do my grocery shopping.
(Yeah, I don't know how I keep my job, either. Probably because my boss doesn't know how to fax, or cut and paste.)
It was weird, going in. I don't like new places. I am old, crotchety and set in my ways. It was very scary. The deli in this place is about the size of my usual store. So many meats and cheeses! So many dips and salads I've never seen before! They had Brandy, Raisin and Brown Sugar Baked Brie that I could just heat and serve, for God's sake!!!
I am weeping with joy and longing as I type this.
And the soups! Each in its own clearly-labeled plastic compartment! Not all jumbled together on a shelf with other soups so you have to dig to find the one you want because the little label on the shelf edge said the cream of mushroom must be here goddammit so where is it?! Oh, truly, it was a thing of obsessive-compulsive beauty.
And how many yogurts and smoothies? ALL OF THEM! You know how you see an ad in a magazine of ten different flavors of yogurt, but you get to the store, and they only carry four of them, and certainly not the peach-raspberry? THIS STORE HAS EVERY FLAVOR OF EVERYTHING EVER INVENTED!!!
Ahhh, I'm still shaking. The whole experience was terrifying and exhilerating all at once. Like sex with a stranger. So I've heard.
I know I paid out my suburban ass for all of it, but it's sooooooooo worth it for the White Chicken, Roasted Garlic, Spinich, Mozzerella Alfredo Pizza alone!
So if you, like me, hate grocery shopping, the solution is just a simple change of scenery, and Spinach, Artichoke and Four Cheese Pockets heat-n-serve appetizers. Or? You can do like Nicholle does -- go to the local Polish grocery store and play Mystery Meal because you can't read the labels.
Comments
I like your version better than Nicolle's, but honey? Do they have Central Market there? If they do, you have to go there at least once. It's a thing of beauty. And food samples.
Posted by: Queen of Ass at November 30, 2005 03:45 PM
Sadly, the grocery store is the highlight of my life.
The grocery store near the all-girls college, that it. Sure it's 100 miles out of my way, but it's worth it.
Posted by: Fresh at December 1, 2005 05:59 AM