January 16, 2006
Google Sex Searches Brought Them Here
Things People Were Hoping To Find When They Found My Site Through Google
pumpkin pirate
I'm confused. Do you eat this or hump it?
wilma flinstone hairdo
When the hell did I blog about anything even remotely resembling this? I've never even mentioned Wilma!
how to shave your cooter
Get someone else to shave it for you. DUH.
my barbie swallows
I totally have this shirt.
monkey with a fez
Now this I can understand! Who WOULDN'T want a monkey with a fez?!
smelly pirate hooker costume
Why smelly? Just... WHY?
vagina rippage
OW! Oh, God, who Googles that? I mean, shouldn't they be RUSHING TO THEIR DOCTOR?!
pictures of woman peeing in the mens restrooms
Someone was very bored at work.
sister mom bro sex
I hate people.
elephantitis of the testes
Now I KNOW I've never blogged about THIS.
slutty bank tellers
Bank tellers? Really? I can understand waitresses, flight attendants, nurses -- but bank tellers? Huh. I'll have to keep an eye out for that.
fur sheepskin sexy girl
If there's one thing this person takes away from my site, I hope it's this -- sheepskin is never sexy. Put down the Ugg boots and back away!
bound gagged babysitter turtleneck
Okay, I get the first three words, but why is the turtleneck an integral part of the fantasy? To cover up the hickies? I don't get it.
sin grandma
This will be the tattoo I get to celebrate my 80th birthday.
how to earn beads in ymca indian princesses
I always feel bad for the well-intentioned, unsuspecting house-frau who searches for something innocuous and ends up finding my body parts. Oh, and remind me to tell you about Indian Princesses sometime. The YMCA would NOT approve.
feel me up school bus story
I never got felt up on the school bus. Not even while riding to and from track meets with the boys' varsity track team. I had nothing worth feeling when I was in school.
latex soccer moms
*sigh*
what do you call the string on the outside of a bologna slice
I call it GROSS. Buy some fucking Oscar Mayer, and you won't have this problem!
liv tyler - plaid skirt - red panties
I'm hope Husband appreciated the irony when he searched for this and was directed to my site. I know it's you, honey!
old hot sexy mom like to go and cam with men .com
And "cam?" "Cam" being a... verb? Do they mean "camp?" And is the ".com" really necessary? I mean, he's searching the internet. Isn't the ".com" kind of implied?
schoolgirl long legs white sox small panties
Marty. Quit it.
nicki the crippled
OH! MY! GOD! How appropriate! Nichole is TOTALLY crippled by her paranoia and SO MANY OTHER THINGS! BWAAAAAAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA! (I'm sorry -- I know this is something that only she and I will find funny.)
lucy liu bound and gagged
If you find this, please send me the link.
wife find new ways to enjoy husbands dogs confessions
Oh, come on! That's just animal abuse! Leave the dog alone! For heaven's sake!
starting eating alot of peanut butter is that a sign of crystal meth
I'm no doctor, but I'm going to have to give a big fat "NO" to this one.
Comments
What can I say? The only thing I got out of my Catholic School education was a healthy appreciation of knee socks and short plaid skirts.
And if you would just post the pictures, I could stop searching.
Posted by: Marty at January 16, 2006 03:46 PM
Marty, she seems to have an aversion to posting pictures....but I would love to see that too.
Posted by: Queen of Ass at January 17, 2006 10:15 AM
Queenie, you'd be amazed at some of the outfits I've seen her dressed up in. But still, no short plaid skirts and knee socks. Damn her eyes.
Posted by: Marty at January 17, 2006 06:56 PM