February 16, 2006
I Hate Jack
There comes a time in everyone's life when they must decide who they are and what they stand for. When they stand at a crossroads and must decide to take the easy way, or the right way. When they must differentiate themselves from the rest of the pack.
I am Pirate Wench, and I hate Jack.
Jack from "LOST," that is.
Even if you don't watch the show, you may have heard of him. He's supposed to be the "dashing-yet-troubled hero," but really, he's just a smug, arrogant, narrow-minded FUCKTARD who thinks he's King of Craphole Island, and who doesn't share any information about himself or anything he's seen on the island with anyone, and yet he expects everyone to trust him and can't believe it when people don't want him to help them RUN THEIR LIVES!
*pant* *pant*
Sorry. I just really hate him.
Have I mentioned that I hate him? Cuz I really do. I yell at the screen whenever I watch "LOST." Husband can't even watch it with me anymore.
He's like, "Why do you watch this? It just makes you angry!"
And he does have a point. So last week, I watched "Bones" instead. Okay, "Bones" isn't exactly critically-acclaimed television. It hasn't won any awards. But it doesn't make me angry, and it has David Boreanaz who, I think I've mentioned, resembles my hot chiropractor.
It was a difficult decision, but I stand by it, and I know my real friends will understand and eventually come to accept my new lifestyle.
So I was IMing with Billi and trying to figure out when I would go visit Boy Child and Girl Child next.
Billi: You could come next Thursday and I could tape Lost the night before. If it's a new one that is. I still haven't watched last night's yet.
PW: Um, I'm giving up LOST
PW: it makes me too aggravated. seriously, I can't watch it
PW: altho' I'll still read the recaps
PW: but it's on the same time as "Bones" and that doesn't make me yell at the screen
PW: I know, I'm a freak and I"ll be the only person in America who doesn' twatch it
PW: I hope we can still be friends
Billi: .......oh...........my...........gosh.........
PW: I know
PW: I'm sorry!
PW: I just... I HATE JACK SO MUCH
Billi: you're............killing............me.....
PW: and seriously, no one talks to each other.
PW: it's drama based on non-communication, and it makes me mental
Billi: knife.....in...........my.........heart....
PW: ok, now you're scaring me
PW: I"M SO SORRY!
Billi: ....can't...........breath......
PW: oh, stop it!
Billi: .....i......hate.........you.........,you......traitor.......!
PW: serioulsy, Husband gets so mad at me, "Quit yelling at Jack! He can't hear you! Why do you watch this?!"
Billi: I'm going to go cry now.
Billi: Stop with the excuses.
Billi: You suck.
PW: I know. I KNOW!
PW: I'll watch it when Bones is a rerun!
PW: I just can't take it! I hate half the poeple on it!
PW: I only like, like, three people!
PW: Hurley, Sun and Claire!
PW: oh, and Eko
Billi: And Kim?
PW: don't hate me
Billi: and Locke?
PW: well, Locke was all outta character last week
PW: who's kim?
Billi: And Sawyer???
Billi: Isn't that Sun's husband's name?
PW: and sawyer is, apparently, a shithead this week (I read the recap)
PW: yeah, Kim is okay
PW: oh, and Rose
Billi: But Sawyer is yummy.
PW: but seriously, I had to make a decision, and I chose the show that doesn't make me enraged.
Billi: You still suck.
PW: I ttoally do. but I'll read the recaps so I still know what's going on. cuz the recaps don't enrage me
PW: if they didn't move Bones to the same time, I woudlnt/ have this problem!
PW: and they'l probably cancel it anyway, cuz I like it
Billi: GET FREAKIN' TIVO!!!!
PW: YOUR HUSBAND HAS TO COME OVER AND HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!
PW: you have to come early to Husband's party
Billi: Okay, I just heard Boy Child repeat a Larryboy video....
Billi: He said, "Fly my bushy minions, FLY!"
PW: OH MY GOD!
PW: THAT'S SO AWESOME!
Billi: I'm going to go watch Lost now, since I'm not a traitor.
Billi: Good-bye, Judas!
Billi: Are you guys home tonight?
PW: I'm home after 7:30.
Billi: okay. Bye!
PW: bye!
I just know she's planning an intervention.
Comments
Too bad. Last night's episode was really good. Best in weeks. You missed Sayid starting his power play...
And I like the futility of them needing to press the button constantly. Somewhat like the futility of me constantly clicking on the "Remember This Information?" radio button on this page.
Posted by: Marty at February 16, 2006 03:29 PM
I tivo bones on one machine, and lost on the other machine at the fiance's house, and we usually fast forward through the stupid jack scenes.
I, too, hate jack, and I also hate Ana Lucia and Locke. I love Hurley. and vincent. and Rose and Bernard.
and eko.
but not enough to watch jack do random crap and not explain anything. as if formerly being a surgeon with daddy issues = boss of everyone.
yeah.
Posted by: heather at February 16, 2006 04:57 PM
Interventions can be blog-worthy too!
Posted by: Queen of Ass at February 16, 2006 08:07 PM
I do the same thing with 24. I hate the President. It started with an innocent "you dillhole" and became worse until a character on a television show has made me start swearing again.
Posted by: Anne at February 17, 2006 07:32 AM
.....you......still......suck.
Posted by: Billi at February 17, 2006 05:18 PM
Where are you?????
Posted by: Nikki at February 20, 2006 05:05 PM