February 13, 2006
Ganging Up On Me
In order to cure Daisy of her bloody-pee malady, she has to take 2-1/2 antibiotic pills a day. Now, we discovered -- the hard way -- that these pills upset her stomach. (I don't know what the hell she was eating, but it'll be a looooong, long time before I have scrambled eggs again.)
To prevent me from sympathy-puking, we break up her pills and give them to her every few hours.
Now Daisy, although we never exercise her, is remarkably strong. When the vet was trying to examine her bladder, our sweet, patient 71 lb. dog got the better of two grown men, ripped off her muzzle and nipped the vet's hand.
I guess she didn't want his hands in that area.
She exercised this same strength when I was trying to get a damn pill down her throat. Despite the fact that we coated them in cheese and/or peanut butter and/or liver sausage, she wouldn't open her mouth. You've been there -- you understand. You know that if I just handed her the food-coated pill, she'd suck off the food and spit out the pill.
So I devised quite an ingenius scheme, if I do say so myself. I took two chunks of liver sausage -- one had the pill in it, one did not. I threw the non-pill hunk at her, and, after discerning that there was no pill, she swallowed it all, convinced I was merely being generous and not trying to sneak any life-saving medications into her body.
When I threw the second hunk -- with the pill -- she was so blinded by trust that she scarfed it right down.
HA HA! I WON! I outsmarted my dog!
What? It's a valid accomplishment! She's really smart!
Billious with pride, I invited Husband to witness her next pill time. I was busy getting out the zip-lock back with the liver sausage and the spoon and prepping the hunks.
Husband picked up the pill, said, "Daisy! Treat!" Threw the pill in the air, and Daisy caught it and gulped it down.
I hate it when they do shit like that.
Comments
oh. my. god. that's hilarious.
Posted by: heather at February 13, 2006 01:23 PM
Laughing my ever widening ass off.
Posted by: Michele at February 13, 2006 01:49 PM
HA-Ha-ha-ha-haaaaa!!!!!!!
Good doggie!
Posted by: Snippy Bitch at February 13, 2006 02:00 PM
I was right there with you. The frustration, then the joy, then the wring-the-smug-bastard's neck.
If your dog can separate the pill from the peanut butter sandwich, she is even more dedicated than mine.
Posted by: Anne at February 13, 2006 02:38 PM
That's how I used to get my girl to take birth control pills.
Posted by: Fresh at February 13, 2006 07:46 PM