March 03, 2006
Georgia On My Mind
Husband turned forty-nine a few days after he got out of the hospital. And as soon as I typed that, I thought Is he gonna get mad at me for telling the Internet his age? But I'm anticipating some nudity or catfighting or police involvment or something at his big fiftieth bash next year -- something blog-worthy -- so what's the dif if I mention he's forty-nine now or he's fifty next year?
Anyhoo, on his birthday, he got this card in the mail:
If you can't read it because I had to shrink it, the handwritten note says:
From your friends at [Local] Hospital: We enjoyed seeing you again, and are glad we helped you make it to this birthday. We're sure we'll see you again soon.
And it's signed by:
Nancy C.
Dr. Richards
Georgia
Hector Gonzalez
Dr. Patel
Souvanna
Needless to say, we laughed our asses off and showed it to everyone we know. When he was in the hospital, after his files were checked by a few key people, the staff was soon calling him Mr. Drillbit. I'm not even making that up. He's a legend.
So we figured that it was certainly plausible that, thinking themselves so damn funny, the staff would send him a card. His date of birth and list of ridiculous mishaps were right there in his file for all to see!
Besides, Georgia was one of the names of one of the nurses. They had his nurses' names up on a board by his bed, and they were Georgia and Gracie. I remember thinking -- Two G names. Huh. What are the odds?
Husband proudly showed his birthday card to Mom, and she goes, "This looks like Egrau's handwriting."
My Mom -- the woman who can't remember what year it is; the woman who still calls me by the dog's name, even 'though Annie has been chasing bunnies in heaven for several years now; the woman who talks to herself more than she talks to anyone else -- saw right through the ruse that we could not.
I am bowing my head in shame.
It totally WAS Egrau's handwriting! How did I not know that? Egrau has been writing me notes for YEARS!
SHE TOTALLY GOT US!
Oh, and she got us even worse than we thought.
"Didn't you guys notice that it was a twenty-three cent stamp, and it wasn't cancelled? I just put it it your mailbox! And I just made up a return address for the hospital. You guys didn't notice?"
NOOOOoooOO!!!
Dude! How did she know about Georgia and Dr. Patel?
"Every hospital has a Dr. Patel."
I guess Georgia was just a lucky guess. Man, she got us but good. Our revenge will be served cold..., with dill sauce..., and a side of grilled asparagus....
Comments
And you will blog about said revenge, right?
Posted by: Queen of Ass at March 3, 2006 04:15 PM