April 25, 2006
My Mom Is Gonna Crap
Did you know that the word cunt, which everyone thinks is so vulgar and heinous, is just an acronym? Calling a woman a cunt is a sure way to get your face slapped. And even niggas who will actually say the word nigga will call it "the C-word." And yet, it's as harmless as the word scuba.
Self-contained underwater breathing aparatus.
Can't understand normal thinking.
See? It's just a slang some guy thought he was clever to invent. Get it? 'Cuz women can't think normal? Get it? Oh, how clever!
Really, it's not a word to get upset about. It's a nonsense word. Except when Heather and I are together. Then, we are total cunts.
Seriously, we're completely intolerable when we're together. If I saw us, I would hate us and avoid us at all costs, but first I'd give us dirty looks. We regress and become like those really, really obnoxiously popular high school girls, except with bigger vocabularies for more biting insults. We're just awful.
It's like, normally, Heather and I are well-read, level-headed, diplomatic and witty. But for whatever reason (probably due to some karma from a past life), we try to out-do each other with who can crawl the farthest back into the primordial ooze. It's quite sad.
We went shopping on Saturday, for seven hours, in the swankiest shopping mall in the area. And after we finished one particularly scorching diatribe, during which we referenced Asians, the learning challenged, tan-orexics, dwarves, all foreigners, and anyone who wears tights, I had to call a spade a spade.
PW: Dude, we are total cunts.
H: No, we're not. We're Cuntacular!
PW: Hee! Cuntastic!
H: Cunterrific!
PW: Um... did we already say Cuntactular?
H: Yeah, we started with that one.
PW: Damn. ... Oh! Cunterful!!!
H: HA!
PW: I'm so blogging this.
H: Oh, man, your mom is gonna ground me!
Comments
wenchie, I was supposed to come over tonight, but I just found out I have to clean the garage and swallow a bar of soap, instead. sorry!
Posted by: heather at April 25, 2006 03:28 PM
It's derived from the Latin root "cunnus," meaning "the vulva." It's the same word "cunnilingus" comes from. How it became considered vulgar I don't know, considering it would have been integrated into English following the Norman invasion, which is when all the Anglo-Saxon words (like "shit") were rendered vulgar in favor of the Norman words (like "feces"). But "cunt" should have a Norman derivation -- not sure what the Anglo-Saxon word would've been, but it wouldn't have been "cunt."
Posted by: The Pedantic Uncle Twitchy at April 25, 2006 06:54 PM