April 19, 2006
There's Nothing Wrong With Me
Awwwwwwwww, you like me! You really like me!
Thank you so much for your outpouring of love and support for my evilness. Normally I like cash and presents, but this was almost as good.
I was really thinking about my obsession with Disney Villians, trying to discern if it was the symptoms of some ancient evil within me. But I think it's just cuz the bad guys are, frankly, more interesting. They all have some major flaw that turns out to be their downfall. Whereas the heroines are just buffeted about their lives, reacting to the influence of others.
(I'm speaking more here of the traditional princesses I grew up on -- Cinderella, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty -- and less of their contemporaries -- Belle, Ariel, Jasmine.)
Maleficent's downfall? Well, she was just a petty, spiteful woman, wasn't she? The originator of, "If I ain't happy, ain't nobody happy." And then she died.
But really, which one of us hasn't dabbled in a little revenge now and again? (Yes, Michele, I really will get around to answering your question one of these days.) I'm lookin' at you, Passive-Aggressives! Don't deny it!
Snow White's stepmom? Vanity, with a capital V, man. If botox and collegen and implants were available back then, you know she'd be all over that shit. In the end, she was so eager to squash the competition, she died.
But again, don't those 20 year old girls with the floating breasts and buttcheeks like melons really piss you off? Damn you and your unblemished youth! I don't care if you are skinny enough to wear gauchos and a shrug -- you may not look fat, but you still look retarded!
Uh. Anyhoo.
Cinderella's stepmom? Her achilles heel was ambition. Ambition to get her two skanky daughters married off. And in the end? Well, I think we're supposed to assume she was consumed by bitterness and jealousy and died a pauper.
But if I had to live with those talentless bitches, I'd be in a hurry to get rid of them, too.
Scar? Arrogance! Banishment.
Cruella DeVille? Materialism! Prison.
Jafar? Greed! Trapped for eternity.
Ursula? Power! Impalement.
Captain Hook? Revenge! Eaten.
Demon from "Night on Bald Mountain" in Fantasia? Well, he wasn't so much a villian, per se, as he just really liked to party.
The the point is, the villians are interesting because we can LEARN from them (in theory). Don't be evil, or you'll get the smackdown.
What does Snow White teach us? Sing well, play hard to get, and some guy you saw one time will take you away from the only friends you've ever had? What the hell kind of lesson is that?!
And Cinderella. Tsk tsk. What kind of girl needs to rely on mice to help her do everything? MICE! Of all things!
And Sleeping Beauty, for Chrissake, she was asleep for half the movie!
No, the villians are, by far, more multi-faceted. Plus? They can turn into things! Like dragons and witches and giants and -- and -- with the fire! And the lightening! And the glowing eyes! And the -- And the -- Oh, they're just so kewl!
Comments
There's NOTHING wrong with you??? Don't know if I'd go that far...
What about Gascon? What was his hang-up, pride? Or a fondness for using antlers in his decorating?
Posted by: Marty at April 19, 2006 02:43 PM
It was Gaston.
And there's nothing wrong with using antlers for decorating. Right, Garrance?
Posted by: Wenchie at April 19, 2006 03:26 PM
Drive-by Grammar Nazi says:
"Lightning" is the flashy stuff in the sky during thunderstorms. "Lightening" is what happens to the sky when the sun is rising, also known as "getting lighter".
Posted by: some_other_dave at April 19, 2006 11:46 PM
Gaston had a NICE ASS.
*GASP!!!!!!!* I can't believe I just 'said' that!
Allright,ok! Yes, I can.
Um,yeah, pride, conceit, and vanity. Oh yeah, he was a bully too! (I have an issue with the antlers thing.) He was an ass, hawt and could SING, but an ass.
So NATURALLY Belle preferred the RICH guy with the attitude problem who locked up her daddy in his dungeon. His redeeming factor was that she was able to bring out his softer side (read CHANGE HIM. Yeah, DEFINETLY A FAIRY TALE LOAD OF CRAP THERE!) after causing him to have the odd panic attack or two even though he was scary looking as hell after the extreme makeover. But hey! He had SERVANTS! And a CASTLE! AND?
He beat Gaston's ass but GOOD!
Posted by: Scarlett Cyn at April 20, 2006 05:56 AM
I like this Scarlett Cyn chick. My kinda girl.
Posted by: Queen of Ass at April 20, 2006 11:06 AM
Aw shucks, I like you too, toots!
*kissy,kissy-SMOOOOOCH*
Posted by: Scarlett Cyn at April 25, 2006 04:39 AM