April 12, 2006
To Kill a Robin
Ah, Spring. When a young man's fancy turns to drunk-dialing his ex-girlfriends, and Charlie Brown's fancy turns to his pathetic baseball team. And Wenchie's fancy turns to cold-blooded murder.
Ah, Spring. The daffodils, the robins, the warm breezes, the beginning of road construction.
I know it's a sin to kill a mockingbird, but is it a sin to kill a robin?
You're all thinking -- Ah, robins, those charming, rose-breasted heralds of warm weather. What monster could possibly concieve of doing one harm?
This monster. Right here, sitting at this computer. Whilst at the window over her right shoulder, not five feet away, a robin has gotten it into its damn fool head that it can fly through glass and, indeed, will not give up, despite the fact that is hasn't work the first katrillion times.
Yeah. There's a goddamn robin, sitting on the fence three feet from my office window, repeatedly flying headlong into the glass. This has been going on for a week now, and it's driving me friggin' batshitty.
And speaking of shittiness, my window and windowledge are covered in bird poop, plus all kinds of unspeakable, unidentifiable bird-mange-smudges. It's so disgusting. If I took a photo and showed it to Nicholle, Queen of Bird Flu Paranoia, she'd have a stroke.
[Hey, Nicholle, I think I just hit on a way to get that long-term disability leave you've been longing for!]
This glass-ramming goes on all hours of the day. Early morning, mid-afternoon, late evening. Doesn't matter. Also doesn't matter if my blinds are up or down. This bird just looooooooooooves smacking his noggin against this particular pane of glass.
Causing me to speculate -- does it have some sort of neurological disorder? Or was it just born stupid? Or is it some sort of robin hazing ritual, devised by his little birdie friends?
*sigh*
What's the life-expectancy of a retarded robin?
Comments
What's the life-expectancy of a retarded robin?
Depends on whether Batman is around to save him or not.
Posted by: Marty at April 12, 2006 04:06 PM
Aside from it's virulent nature - could it be any more obvious that it is attacking the bldg because of the finch farm in the lobby? This is just like Hitchcock - I'm so outie
Posted by: qfe23 at April 13, 2006 08:06 AM
Aww ... poor robin. It sees it's reflection in your window and thinks it's another robin. It's defending it's territory....kinda like a Pirate Robin. Try parking a Barbie or two on the window sill ... that may scare the Robin away! Heheheheee!
Posted by: Snippy Bitch at April 13, 2006 11:17 AM