May 05, 2006
A Post for Simpsons Nerds
Last October, I turned 36. This October, I'll turn 86. I take six different prescriptions a day. An oxygen tank and sensible hair-do can't be far off.
My friends, who are slightly younger than I, are also in rapid decline. (Well, as rapid as one can go with heel spurs.) Nicholle has some retinal tumor thing, and Heather may or may not have macular degeneration.
Today, Nicholle is getting her tumor ultrasounded to make sure it hasn't gotten any bigger, and Heather is going to see a specialist to get a definate answer on her potential white cane and Paris Hilton sunglasses (although I suspect she'll get an answer sooner or later anyway -- I'm just sayin').
Like a good friend, I was trying to cheer up Heather, via IM:
PW: hey, did I tell you that Nicholle has a retinal tumor?
H: you DIDN"T!
PW: you guys can learn braille together!
H: awesome!
H: or, we could just make you read outloud to us!
PW: HA!
PW: she's had it for a while. it doesn't get any bigger, it's tiny
H: is it a blind spot? how did the find it?
PW: it's a tiny spot, I guess
PW: no idea
PW: "And then I realized we were no longer little girls, we were Little Women."
H: HA!!!!!!!!!!
PW: "For she truly was. My. Friend. Flicka."
H: dude. peeing over here. with the laughing. you MUST cut-n-paste that for nicholle.
PW: it's from the Simpsons
PW: Moe reading to the homeless people
H: ha!
H: I'm impressed with teh converstaional relevance, more than the source, of course.
H: how Often do you get to use THAT quote in context?
PW: just this once!
PW: I'm so glad you're impressed
PW: I'll have to tell Ramone. He'll be impressed, too.
Ramone and I have this thing where we try to fit a Simpsons quote into every conversation. One time, I sang him the "Here come sammiches!" song that Flanders sang, and he didn't recognize it, so I totally won for, like, the whole month!
So I emailed it to him. This was his response:
"A perfectly cromulent reference. Well done!
Ramone
A noble spirit embiggens the smallest man."
Oh, dear Christ, we're losers.
And I just accidentally saw the wrinkled cleavage of one of my ancient, fat, bitchy co-workers. So now I'm going blind, too. Who will read to us? It'll have to be Joy the New Girl. She's the youngest person I know who knows how to read. Well, okay, besides Nephew, but it'd probably be inappropriate to have him reading V.C. Andrews.
Comments
Who will read to us?
still peeing. with the laughing.
ha!
Posted by: heather at May 5, 2006 01:07 PM
You know, I heard that the whole peeing with laughing thing comes from being old....
....just sayin.
Posted by: Queen of Ass at May 5, 2006 02:39 PM
peeing. with the laughing. also comes from pregnancy.
Is there something H isn't telling us?
Posted by: Billi at May 5, 2006 03:16 PM
*has "Perfectly Cromulent" t-shirt*
And am always surprised when I have to explain it :)
Posted by: Rachel at May 5, 2006 03:47 PM
Thank you, Billi. My youngest is over a year old now, and I *still* have that problem. :\
Posted by: Celtic Elff at May 8, 2006 10:15 PM