May 23, 2006
I Hate People
I really do. I hate them.
Just so you know, if I've ever had to share the road with you, or walked near you in a mall, I've sent glaring hate-rays your way.
People are basically rude and don't give a shit about anyone around them. I, on the other hand, was raised to use my "inside voice" and stay out of other peoples' way in public places. I don't tailgate, and I don't cut people off.
Does this make me a superior human being? Yes. Yes, it does.
Nicholle and I were shopping at Local Huge Upscale Mall, and hating on all the people while planning our All Pink Bachelorette Condo (for when our husbands have finally had it). I finally used the mongo gift certificate that my amazingly generous Head Boss gave me for Christmas and invested in $140 worth of grown-up skin care products from Sephora. (By God, they had better be good.)
[The gift certificate also bought him the privilege of me not not doing an entire blog about how he does all the homework for his 17 year old daughter, who does not, in fact, have Down's Syndrome.]
Then we went to Jimmy John's for a couple o' sammiches, and since JJ's is way popular and only has seating for eight, Nicholle and I went and sat on a nearby bench to snarf. When we got up to leave, I noticed that I was sans Sephora bag. NOT. GOOD.
We ran -- okay, we walked quickly, let's be honest -- to Jimmy John's, and I panted (hey, it was several yards away!) to the guys behind the corner, "Did anyone turn in a shopping bag?"
"A Sephora bag?"
"YES!"
Oh, my beloved toner pads! My cleanser! My exfolient! Don't scare Mommy like that!
PW: Wow, that was really nice of them. I guess this means I can't be hating people for at least a half an hour.
N: My faith in humanity has been momentarily restored.
PW: Hmmm... Mine may be compromised slightly by that pink velour jogging suit and, more specifically, the tanorexia it accentuates.
N: I love how her friend is wearing flats, as if the gauchos didn't make her legs look stubby enough.
PW: And what the fuck is with high schoolers carrying Coach purses?
N: Seriously. Who buys a $500 purse so their brat can carry around her driving permit and Bonnie Bell lip gloss? She's just gonna leave it in someone's back seat anyway.
PW: It's totally cute, too. I have no qualms about knocking her down, if you'll grab the purse and run.
N: So... I guess we're back to hating people.
PW: Yep.
N: That was quick.
Comments
You make it sound like the husbands kicked them to the Pink Condo when the whole purpose of teh pink condo is retreat from teh husbands - leaving them to curl up all fetal as they deserve
Posted by: qfe23 at May 23, 2006 03:09 PM
There's a shirt you can buy, it's black with white lettering and says: "Do I look like a fucking people person?"
My friend has it and wears it under her work clothes when she's particularly annoyed.
Posted by: Hope at May 24, 2006 03:34 PM