May 03, 2006
My Work Son
You know how they say that 75% of people have a "work spouse"? Well, I'm a secretary, so I don't have a "work spouse." I have "work children."
Hot Boss is my teenaged son. His cell ringtone is something by Metallica. He dresses poorly. He curses. He is suspicious of authority. And he's a complete moron.
Case in point. Our I.T. dept. has asked us all to go through our computers and delete old files, both on our hard drives and on the company shared drive. Knowing Hot Boss' utter imcompetence, I took it upon myself to go through all his files with him. Not only deleting old ones, but organizing the 800 files he has in his My Documents folder.
(It is my dream to someday get to the over 500 emails with attachments he has saved in Lotus Notes and save those damn files onto his hard drive, earning the praise and adoration of the entire I.T. department.)
Hot Boss is so technologically challenged that when I created a New Folder, he told me I should be working in the I.T. dept. Yeah, because that's what Brother-In-Law sits around all day doing -- creating New Folders. And sometimes? He Cuts and Pastes! Astounding!
"Okay. Where are the majority of your files saved? The C drive or the U drive?"
"I don't know. I save them all in Word."
"Yes, but where do you save them to?"
"To Word!"
"Dude, you can't save anything in Word. Word is just a program."
"But that's where I save them!"
*siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh*
So I went into the voice I use when explaining to Boy Child why he has to eat three more bites of apple before he can have fishy crackers.
"Okay, your My Documents folder is like a storage bin. It stores things on your C drive, so they're not taking up space on our server. When you open Windows and want to open a file, it will dip into your My Documents and only show you the files saved as Word documents. You can save IN Word, but you cannot anything TO Word. Word is NOT a storage device. Don't ever tell anyone that you saved something in Word."
"Oh, bite me."
"Hey, I'm trying to help you here! I'm trying to keep you from sounding stupid! I don't want you telling a client, 'Oh, I must've saved your proposal in Word'. Don't EVER tell ANYONE that you saved something in WORD. ... And don't ever wear that shirt again."
"Fuck you."
"Now, this is very important. If you delete a file, you are deleting it from your whole computer, whether you are in Word or Excel. You aren't just deleting it from Word or Excel, you are deleting it from My Documents entirely. Understand?"
I didn't tell him about his Recycle Bin. When he comes to me one day, freaking out that he deleted an important file, I'll just pull it outta the Recycle Bin, and he'll think I'm David Fucking Copperfield.
Comments
I cannot believe you got through that whole post without using my favorite Word.....FUCKTARD!
Ha Ha.....get it.........Word^?
Posted by: matt at May 3, 2006 04:40 PM
And what really bites is that he probably gets paid hella more than you. For being a f**king n00b.
Didn't he *have* to go to college? Isn't basic computer knowledge a requirement to even get through the first -year-??
::rolls eyes::
Posted by: Celtic Elff at May 3, 2006 06:08 PM
All I want to know is, is he single. I'm all for having people on the side to support my Jimmy Choo obsession.
Good lord, makes me want to carress his back and tell him to go to sleep, and when he wakes up he can watch Barney.
Posted by: Michele at May 4, 2006 12:10 PM
HAAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!
No, he's not single. God bless his wife.
Posted by: Wenchie at May 4, 2006 12:19 PM
This guy makes me fear for the future.
-Lori
Posted by: Lori at May 4, 2006 12:21 PM
And voila! A raise!
Posted by: Queen of Ass at May 4, 2006 02:10 PM