May 30, 2006
Unbridled Purse Lust
Those around me lately have noticed that I've become a bit of a purse fetishist. If it's pink and costs more than $200, I want it. Coach, Dooney & Bourke, Prada, Kate Spade -- I want them all. The more ridiculously pretentious, the better. I want the ones that are so ugly, if they cost $15 at Penney's, no one would buy them; but because it's a COACH purse, it's worthiness is validated by the preposturous amount of money one has to shell out to carry it home.
See how that works? Yeah, neither do I.
I don't pretend to understand my designer purse fetish. I'm not proud. In fact, I'm a little embarassed. Especially that time another purse fetishist and I were both eyeing a little pink number on the Coach clearance rack ($135 -- such a deal!), so I picked it up and rubbed it all over my entire body, thereby ensuring she wouldn't buy it.
Not my proudest moment. But I recovered.
[Nicholle, when you see your Christmas present and realize that it, too, came from the Coach clearance rack, rest assured that it touched only my hand and then the sterile inside of a shopping bag. Wrapped in tissue.]
[And for those of you who doubt I would really do such a thing in the middle of Nordstrom's, you should also know that I wore my hair in Princess Leia braids when I saw "Star Wars Episode Three" at my local movie theatre on a Tuesday night, and I have licked my dessert plate clean in a very crowded Buca di Beppo's. I don't embarrass easily.]
I am enthralled with any purses that have little snap-closure pockets on the outside. I am entraced with the petite wallet-on-a-string "wristlets." And I am fascinated by the fact that Coach makes tennis shoes to matchy-match their purses. Matchy-match!
So Heather's like, "When are you going to blog about your purse obsession?"
And I'm like, "Never. People will be bored, and I'll sound like a shallow, superficial, materialistic bitch."
And she's like, "So?"
I hate it when she traps me with her cast-iron logic.
At lunch, I saw a woman with a miniature doberman pincher in a green argyle sweater, and I suffered the insane desire to have an accessory dog that I could dress up and carry around with me. Dudes, tiny hoodies!!! This is obviously an offshoot of my unbridled purse lust and should be considered even more dangerous than gauchos.
Then Heather informed me that many designers make pet carriers. THIS is why I love America.
Comments
I have a purse fetish too, though I tend to buy the less expensive ones. I have between 20-25 purses. Some cost $10.00 like the one I found at Target that's yellow and has 'I Have Issues' stitched in pink across the side (I was going through my divorce then). Others cost more, the most was $80.00 by Beijo which you can only get through a rep (want them all!!!). My dog is too big to be a purse puppy so I have a purse with a picture of him on it, close enough!
I bought a display case for all of them but haven't put it together..I'll get there some day.
Love.
The.
Purses.
Posted by: Hope at May 30, 2006 04:26 PM