June 06, 2006
The Bitch with a Heart of Gold
Nicholle is an evil person, which is both: a) why I love her, and; b) how she puts up with me. The funny thing about her, though, is that I seem to be the only one who knows how evil she is (until now, I guess).
Everyone else in the world thinks she's a peach. She's sweet and adorable and charming..., until one has walked away. Then the whips out her voodoo doll and starts muttering curses and slaughtering chickens. She's so effortlessly duplicitous -- it's kinda scary and often makes me doubt my own sanity.
For example.
I'm in charge of our in-house company newsletter. I have help, but I do a lot of the work because I'm anal-retentive, and I want it the way I want it.
We have an office in Raleigh, NC, and they were kind enough to send me some tidbits for an article (the hoi polloi are not allowed to write their own articles). Apparently, in the space of one month, the Raleigh employees -- the whole damn office, mind you -- sponsored and worked a rest stop for a local MS walk, and helped old people in a retirement home color Easter eggs.
And it's not like it was during work hours, and they were being paid for it. On no. This was extracurricular, volunteer work.
I looked around my own office and thought, We are selfish, horrible people.
I also feel this way after Husband insists we watch "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition." The person who gets the new house is always like some blind, widowed pastor, who is also an army veteran, with seventeen disabled, adopted children, in addition to her three orphaned nephews, who take in runaways, abandoned animals, and battered women, while running a soup kitchen and suicide hotline.
After seeing such selfless giving and looking around my own cushy lifestyle, I can't help but turn to Husband and ask, "Can we rescue a pony or something?"
I voiced my self-reflective concern to Nicholle, and she was very sympathetic. She even tried to help me think of ways our office could help out in the local community.
She reached deep inside her black heart and said, "How 'bout we do makeovers of other people in the building -- it will be fun and charity wrapped in one!"
See? This is why I love her.
Comments
No comments about the pine tree? Unbelievable!! I thought that blog was just adorable. And I think Nicholle is just the dearest, sweetest thing on this earth (outside of my girls, of course). Let me know if you ever decide to do make-overs for your co-workers. Pictures would be fine. Have a nice day.
Posted by: Mommie Dearest at June 7, 2006 08:31 AM