July 31, 2006
Some Random Hazards of Office Life
GodDAMMIT! Who is using the only color printer to print twenty-four fifty-paged reports -- IN BLACK AND WHITE -- when I have to print ACTUAL COLOR DOCUMENTS?!?!
* * * * *
So this morning, all of a sudden, my left eye started killing me, and I knew my contact had some unwanted company in there.
So I flushed it out with wetting solution and all that stuff, but to no avail. And I could hardly keep my eye open, and all the tearing was making my nose run. I had to walk to the bathroom with my eyes closed, snot trickling down my lip.
Well, I got the contact out of my eye, and then I'm like, "Now what?"
I'd forgotten to even bring wetting solution, and Lord knows I'm not prepared enough to keep soaking solution with me.
The options before me:
1. Throw it out and walk around with double vision all day (I have astigmatism).
2. Try to scrape the offending particle off my contact, put the dry-as-unbuttered-toast contact back in my eye, and hope for the best.
I opted for the latter.
Turned out to be an eyelash, and by the time I got it off, there were a bunch of other unidentifiable specks on my contact. Without checking to see if it was inside-out or whatever, I jammed it back onto my eyeball.
My vision has been blurry ever since. I'm pretty sure I've contracted some horrible bacteria, and tomorrow morning, my eyeball will fall out of its socket and roll around until it is snatched up by some mangy monkey.
* * * * *
I just got back from the printer, where I found that someone had printed off the entire article about Lance Bass being gay.
This led me to wonder -- to whom in this office is this piece of information so crucial that they had to print off the article? And why?
* * * * *
I have a crush on the guy who works the little sundries shop downstairs (and I admit this, knowing that I will now be mercilessly taunted by the few co-workers who read this). He's a big, dumb moose, but he has pretty, pretty eyes.
Nicki and I went down to get a snack, and we were talking about our usual retarded stuff, and I go, "Ooh! I'll be famous!"
And Moose goes, "Can I come with? Strong back, weak mind!"
And, people, do you know how hard to had to bite my tongue not to say That's how I like 'em?
Nicki goes, "I heard you stop breathing."
That hard.
Comments
i'm still waiting to hear your theories on who printed the lance bass article. it is pretty funny considering the demographics of our office, hmmm
Posted by: k99 at August 1, 2006 02:56 PM
Don't you know you're supposed to LICK your contact lens before re-inserting it??
Posted by: MostlySunny at August 1, 2006 03:43 PM
Um, so is he single??
Posted by: Vicki at August 2, 2006 01:31 PM