July 27, 2006
Humid
I have to tell you about me weird dream about Fresh Pepper, but first, I have to complain about the weather.
It's hoooooooooooooooooooooooooot, you guuuuuuuys. Seriously, my deodorant has already given out by the time I arrive at work.
Last week, after work, I got into a car that was well above 100 degress inside. (My next car will be white!) And you know what happened? My usually supple, moist, youthful skin started to tighten. Right on my head! I could feel the heat wicking away my moist suppleness! It was insane!
And now, an IM conversation about the weather, between Billi and myself:
PW: don't go outside. it's a sauna
Billi: Ug.
Billi: I was gonna set up the pool for the kids.
Billi: I might die though.
PW: maybe it's less hot by you
Billi: It looks humid out.
PW: yeah, it's gross out
PW: I'm wearing a sweater cuz it's freezing at my desk
Billi: ha.
Billi: I'm wearing a tank top.
PW: wait -- you can SEE humid?
Billi: It's... like..... hazy.
Billi: and there was condensation on our windows this morning.
Billi: humid....
Billi: SHUT UP!
PW: HA!
PW: I'm blogging that. That was hilarious.
Billi: I'm so glad I can entertain all your readers.
PW: I'm also waiting for the right moment to blog, "I just had some underwear that I was going to put on, and now it's gone."
Billi: Who said that?!?!? about the underwear?
PW: YOU!
Billi: WHEN?
PW: several months ago
PW: I was dying! we were on the phone!
Billi: seroiusly? Why did I tell you that?
PW: I don't know -- you were probably muttering to yourself
Billi: I'm Mom.
PW: oh thanks for making me picture Mom without underwear
And since there's no graceful way to transition from that to Fresh Pepper, here's my dream about Fresh Pepper, even though he's "on hiatus," and I have no idea when/if he'll ever be back:
So Fresh and I apparently had a mutual friend, a guy. And Fresh had asked him to go make sure his apartment looked okay for some new girl he was bringing home. I happened to be visiting Mutual Friend at the time, so he brought me with.
What we found was that, in an effort to rid his apartment of all things that might keep him from getting a second date with the new girl, he had totally 40-Year-Old-Virgin-ed his apartment. It was bare as Old Mother Hubbard's cupboard.
Mutual Friend was like, "Oh my God, she'll think he's a serial killer. We have to get some stuff back in here!"
So we went and got furniture and stuff from... somewhere. IKEA? That's what it looked like. And we totally feng-shuied his apartment and put it back together so it looked like a page out of the Pottery Barn catalogue. (Note to self: stop reading so many catalogues.)
As we were finishing up, I mused to Mutual Friend, "I suppose it would be tacky to take a picture of myself in Fresh's bed for my friend Nicholle. Cuz seriously, she'd DIE of jealously."
And Mutual Friend was like, "Yeah, that would be tacky."
Damn. But I was totally thinking of you, Nicky! Even in my dreams!
I think Mutual Friend and I are going to get those necklaces that say "MUT FRI" and "UAL END." Those are so bitchen.