August 25, 2006
Famous Last Words
A woman here at work was telling me about her grandfather's death. It's a Summer Friday here, so most of the office isn't around, and at these times, we are prone to long, meandering conversations.
We talked about farming, then animals, then dogs, then euthanazia, then hospice, then suicide, then death, then the afterlife. It killed a good half-hour of the morning, which was awesome and brought me that much closer to a long lunch at the mall.
Anyway -- her grandfather died at home, under hospice care, of cancer. The last few days, he was so drugged, he wasn't even conscious. But one night, around midnight, he was suddenly wide awake and talking to his wife about all the things he had to do. And he told her he loved her and gave her messages for other family members.
He was dead by morning.
This is not, by any means, the first account of pre-death lucidity that I have heard. And among my many and varied and ever-changing beliefs is the belief that some people are granted one last chance to say what they need to say.
My even-stranger theory is that this last "moment of clarity" is to ensure that the dying person can reconcile themself with their situation, thereby ensuring that they won't resist the "crossing over,"... wherever that crossing may lead them. I don't know. My theories on THAT are too many to list here -- my favorite being The Great A-Ha.
Anyway, it got me thinking -- what if I am one of the lucky souls who is granted one last, precious opportunity to speak? What if I am fully aware that it is, indeed, the last time I will speak to my loved ones? What would I say?
Well, of course, I'll have to include, "Always remember that I love you."
As unimaginative as it may be, it's basically a given, and who am I to balk at tradition? Besides, if those poor people are gallant enough to be at my stinking deathbed, the least I can do is throw them a bone, eh?
But then what? Love is a good opener, but what about a closer? The final zinger! The ta-daaaaaaaaaa! I can't go out without a punchline.
The old axim, "Always leave them wanting more," is good advice in any situation. Except meals.
That would be pretty cool, to whisper, "Tell Billi I never saw..."
And then die.
Everyone would be like, "WHAT? Never saw WHAT?!"
BWAAAAAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! Damn, they'd be talking about that for years to come!
Or I could pull a Citizen Cane and murmur something like, "Tell Rosalyn it's behind the drawer."
Hee! They'd tear my house apart and drive themselves nuts, not even knowing what they were looking for! And I certainly don't know any Rosalyns, so I'm sure theories would abound on who she is and her connection to me! Oh, it's all so very Victorian-novel. I love it.
It's all well and good to scheme, but let's be honest -- my last words will probably be, "Make sure... the mortician... washes... my hair..."
Comments
I'm guessing my final words will be:
"Don't delete my Season Passes on TiVO, I plan on watching everything since I've got eternity to do it."
Posted by: Hope at August 28, 2006 11:07 AM