August 21, 2006
Getting In My Car Never Fails To Piss Me Off
Dear Idiot at the Corner Who Won't Make the Right Turn Despite the Obvious Lack of Oncoming Traffic In the Right Lane:
I'm onto you, bitch.
I know you have no intention of turning into the far right lane, the lane into which, given your current position, you should legally be turning! I know you're special.
Too special to obey traffic laws. Too special to pay heed to the myriad of cars idling behind you.
I can tell you're special because, even while in heavy traffic, you cannot be indisposed to the no doubt dozens of people with whom you must be in contact at all times via cell phone.
I know you have to pull into the far left lane, in order to more easily facilitate your trip to Dominick's to stock-up on Weight Watchers frozen lunches for the week. So why shouldn't you make the hoi ploi wait while you search for an opening in three lanes of rushhour traffic?
I'm sure you have all the time in the world, and you want to finish your cigarette and your phone conversation before arriving at your destination. And God forbid you miss the end of your favorite Bon Jovi song. But some of us are in our cars because there's some place important that we have to get to.
I hate you and everything you stand for. You're what's wrong with America. You're the reason the world hates us. And your successful turn into the far left lane is proof that the terrorists have already won.
Comments
OMG I hate driving. The other day I called this guy a fuck-ass because, ok get this: I was waiting to turn into a mall carpark, and he was coming the other way, so I was waiting until he went past.
He waited until the last possible moment before indicating that he too was pulling into the mall carpark and I could have gone *at any time* instead of waiting for him.
So, I called him a fuck-ass and my husband looks over at me and said "It doesn't take much to stress you out when driving does it?" Even though the other guy was clearly being a fuck-ass!!!
/rant.
Posted by: Jenni at August 21, 2006 11:32 PM
It's nice to have the blame properly assigned. Now I feel like my day has been productive, and it's not even 9:15 AM yet!
Posted by: Queen of Ass at August 22, 2006 09:14 AM