August 11, 2006
Once Upon a Stall
So Nicholle hurt her foot or her ankle or her knee or had a hip replacement or something -- who knows with her anymore -- so she has prescribed for herself mandatory comfy gym shoes for the next... indefinate amount of time, which is kinda presumtuous of her, but I guess that's one of the perks that comes with doing payroll -- no one says boo to her for fear that she'll mess with their check.
That was really long. Been watching too much "Deadwood." I hope Ian McShane gets paid by the word.
Anyhoo, I was bored, so I had two root beers and occupied myself by going to the bathroom every five minutes. I walked in and saw under the stall door a pair of white gym shoes, and I almost said Hi! before I noticed that they were New Balance and not Adidas. Thank God for brand recognition!
Sooooo... what was my point?
Oh yeah. Don't you hate it when you spend an hour willing your sphincter to stay shut against a brewing fart, to both spare your co-workers' delicate sensibilities, and so you don't blow your last remaining shred of dignity (so to speak); and when you finally make it into the bathroon, where it farting is tolerated -- if not encouraged -- you can't fart for the life of you?
Yeah, I hate that, too. Almost as much as I hate all these run-on sentences.
Boy, I am all about the sphincter action this week.
And you know what else I hate? Okay, I know that everyone has their favorite stall, the one that they always head to out of habit. But everyone should also have a back-up stall, in case there's someone in, or -- and this is important -- immediately adjacent to, your favorite stall.
Because if there's someone in the stall next to your favorite stall?
YOU USE ANOTHER STALL!
If there are eight stalls, and I'm the only other person in the bathroom, don't take the stall right next to me! I'm not interested in bonding with strangers in that capacity! I cannot stress this enough!
Simple bathroom etiquette, people. Read it, learn it, live it.
Comments
I honestly thought I was the only one that had hang ups about adjacant peeing. I swear to god everytime I go to the bathroom at work the next person that comes in takes the stall right next to mine. This truly annoys me, which makes it difficult to make polite conversation once we've completed our business and are washing our hands.
I'd assumed I was just weird and/or possibly OCD.
Posted by: EEK at August 14, 2006 02:06 PM
Yes, good God, I am on the same page with this. It's not unlike sitting in a nearly empty movie theater and having someone come and sit right next to you. It's simply unnerving and irritating as all get out.
Posted by: Barbara at August 14, 2006 04:56 PM