August 31, 2006
A Different Kind of Terrorist
For Nicholle, on our last day of working together.
I don't normally do socially-relevent-quasi-political stuff because it's boring and doesn't read well a week later. However, I feel compelled to address this particular issue because it covers two of my greatest hates: flying and people.
So. Let's recap. Planes were crashed, soldiers were deployed, tweezers were banned, statues were toppled, plots were foiled.
And where does that leave us? Getting up at 4am for a 10:00 flight and standing in line for three hours while some surly "trained inspector" confiscates a Chapstick from 57-year old Beatrice Jorgenson from White Bear Lake, Minnesota, while somewhere below, the baggage handlers break the lock on my suitcase to steal my $500 digital camera (with all my vacation photos on it) because I'm not allowed to carry anything on with me.
I don't feel safe from terrorists. Do you? I'm just getting butt-raped by a different kind of terrorist. The kind that keeps me from flying, not because I'm afraid of blowing up, but because I'm afraid of blowing a gasket.
No, the added "security" does not make me feel better because all the people checking my bags look like mindless drones who WISH we, the flyers, would all die so they wouldn't have to be bothered.
I've always hated flying, and now I can add another facet to my multi-dimensional fear of flying. I have to take my shoes off and walk IN MY SOCKS where billions of other people have walked IN THEIR SOCKS. And no sock in the world is enough barrier between my pampered tootsies and other peoples' toe jam.
Frankly, it's waaaaaaay more likely that I'll get some itchy, oozing rash from one of my fellow Americans than be killed by terrorists.
And what's more, the government is now supplying little footie socks for people in sandals who don't want to walk on the bare floor! Well, I say, FUCK! THAT! If you're too stupid to know you have to wear socks to the airport, then you don't deserve to be catered to. These should be your options:
1. Go home, so we don't have to wait for you to take off your shoes, put on the little socks, take off the little socks, and put on your shoes. The lines are tedious enough already. If you are ADDING to the length of time other sock-wearing people have to wait, you don't deserve to go anywhere. In fact, you probably shouldn't even leave your house. Ever.
2. Walk around in your bare feet on the filthy fungi-floor. Hopefully, you will contract a flesh-eating bacteria so, next time, this won't be an issue because you won't have feet.
This is my life's motto: Stupid people need to be punished, or they will never learn.
I also always pack my stuff in clear, plastic baggies because, when people root through my stuff, I don't want them touching it with the hands they just touched a billion other peoples' nasty underwear with. And so, you know, it's much easier for them to find what they're looking to steal.
Hmm. I seem to have many other issues besides flying.
Comments
The latest set of restrictions should make your flying much better. Everyone is checking their luggage, so it took me like two minutes to get through security this past weekend. It was WAY smoother now that folks aren't bringing huge carry on bags onto the plane. Also made getting on and off the plane way smoother as well.
If we can't have our lip balm and water bottle on the plane, but it is WAY easier to get on and off the plane, I'll make the sacrifice.
Still have to take your shoes off though. Can't help you there.
Posted by: Marty at August 31, 2006 02:17 PM
wtf! We're not allowed to take cameras on board anymore! Shit.
Posted by: B.J. at August 31, 2006 05:01 PM
You're trying to make me stay by using Germ Warfare! You think that I will choose the surgical cleanliness of my cube instead of jetting off to the Alps. Dude, they bring a crate full of birdflu here twice a year & pump it through the air supply. Not to mention the carcinogenic toner in the "Copy Pod" , the rays emitting from my pc, the volatile organic compounds still leaking from the new carpet and puke yellow linoleum. I need to hit the Alps just to breathe again. Auf Wiedersehen.
Posted by: Nicholle at September 1, 2006 07:51 AM
So, does the airlines care about your camera, or are you just completely screwed?
Posted by: elle at September 1, 2006 10:11 AM
Was this topic requested by Nicki? I was hoping for some sort of poetic ode to all that is Nicki.
I guess I could write one. Still, don't be a stranger.
Posted by: Vicki at September 1, 2006 10:27 AM
THAT was ME! (I was SO jetlagged I forgot I even told you about it Wench!!) MY checked & locked luggage (3 pieces) was broken into and MY $1,200 digital video camera was stolen with our vacation memories inside of it.
And while I mourn the loss of the video, I am still EXTREMELY INCENSED that some ASSWIPE broke into my LOCKED LUGGAGE, (I feel so violated)probably after x-ray screening it for SECURITY PURPOSES (hah! Security MY SWEET ASS!)and took said video camera AND my 22k gold hoops. (may his girlfriend/boyfriend's ears rot off).
Mine (and I'm guessing Wenchie's) point was that said asswipe could have just as easily PUT SOME DANGEROUS SUBSTANCE INTO MY SUITCASEs without me or - anyone's obviously- knowing about it. After my having checked it at the airline counter being asked "did you pack the bags yourself? Did anyone ask you to take anything for them? Did you leave your bags unattended at any time?" and after answering yes, no, no respectively, and handing them over to her, LOCKED and X-RAYED, still there was enough of a lack of security from that point onward that someone had the time and inclination to break into my suitcases enroute to or from the aircraft. THAT is scary, simply because something terrible could have happened to our plane, or anyone elses. Some dickwad is TAKING ADVANTAGE of people's fear and the increased but still woefully inadequate security measures that have been put in place to rip people off.
It just goes to show that while they bullshit on international and domestic TV about stronger airport security, in reality? Even with those lunatics in London and their buddies internationally in jail?
We're all still obviously very much at risk.
Posted by: Scarlett Cyn at September 4, 2006 01:55 AM