September 28, 2006
My Biggest Fan
My favorite blog posts are the ones I don't have to write. Like yesterday's. And today's.
You guys just have to see how hilarious my Mom is. She just kills me, and I don't even know if she means to. And every time I laugh, she's like, "That's why I was put on this earth, Wenchie -- to entertain you." Which, of course, just makes me laugh harder.
So every once in a while, when I remember to check my email, I find an email from my Mom, which in and of itself is hilarious.
See, I have three email addresses. My work one, my Yahoo one for people who know who I am, and the one I created for this blog. My Mom has my other two email addresses and has been using them for years. And yet, she insists on using my blog one.
I suspect that she thinks she's leaving a comment when she does that because I don't think she knows how to work the Comments. Either that or she knows it's an email address, and she's just too lazy to go to her AOL homepage and use one of the ones that I actually check on a daily basis.
Come to think of it, she may be emailing me because she doesn't want her comments published. In which case, I guess I can kiss my Christmas presents good-bye this year because how can I NOT publish this stuff?!
So here's Mom's email regarding my post about shopping for new, ginormous bras with my Asst. Chick Boss:
I heartly enjoyed your novella about your bra. But with Blogs brought to us by the letter P and then the letter D (or versa-visa), what, indeed, is lurking between those 2 letters?I will be sitting on the edge of my Lazy-Boy recliner, waiting to learn the answer, so I can clear my mind of such trivial annoyances.
Do not degrade your lovely "girls" - it runs in the family, so just live with it.
Love and Kisses, Mommie Dearest
Ha! Novella! Love it!
(Yes, Mom has sizable hogans, too. In fact, she's not bad, for an old broad.)
And here's what she wrote to me after Talk Like a Pirate Day:
Dear Darling Daughter:Please don't beat yourself up because you forgot Talk Like a Pirate Day. I am here to let people know that you do, every day, talk like a Pirate, and have been doing so for many, many years. I could also tell them that you were, (it was a secret till now) indeed born wearing a pirate eye patch and swearing like the best of them.
I do not say this to condemn you, just to set matters straight and to let people know that your family (well, most of them) love you anyway.
Hope this helps your cause.
Mommie Dearest
Well, most of them?! It's riotously funny and frighteningly disturbing at the same time!
So now you see where I get it. Oh my God, she just cracks me up.
(I'm sure the "most of them" doesn't include my Dad. Eleven years ago, Mom had a lengthy illness. When I went to visit my folks one day, Dad excitedly told me, "I did my own laundry!" And I said, "What do you want -- a cookie?!" He's never forgiven me for that.)