January 09, 2007
Doctor's Orders!
I had quite a scare today, my friends, and I would appreciate some love and compassion. Preferrably along the lines of, "Oh, poor sweet baby," accompanied by smooches and hair-stroking.
And speaking of stroking, I totally thought I was stroking-out early this morning. And not in the good way.
I had about a thirty second flash of lightheadedness at my computer. Nothing terribly unusual. I've had them enough to know that it's nothing, or I'm fighting a cold, or I'm typing faster than my brain can think.
But five minutes later, I experienced something I'd never experienced before. No, not buyer's remorse, assholes. Blurred vision!
BLURRED! VISION!
And I'm not even drunk! My peripheral vision in my left eye went all wavy. At first, I found it hard to focus on what I was typing.
And then it got worse, and I'm like, "Holy shit! Waves! Why is my eye wavy? Am I having a stroke? I'm having a stroke! Shit! I don't have time for a stroke! I have to take the puppy to the vet, pick up Younger Step from her trumpet lesson, and then meet Vicki for dinner! I can't do that if I'm drooling and listing to the left!"
My immediate reaction was to do what I always do in important, life-altering situations -- I.M. Heather. She agreed that I should go to the E.R., but she wouldn't leave work and drive me there. (I know, right? She's a terrible friend.)
Stranded by her lack of compassion, I called my eye doctor. (Well, that and I kinda felt stupid. I mean, going to the E.R. for "wavy vision" is even more lame than going for heartburn.)
Dr. J's assistant put me on hold and came back with three questions:
Asst.: Have you experienced a lot of stress lately?
PW: I don't know. What's a lot? Our puppy had diarrhea, and we were at each others' throats all weekend. Does that count?
Asst.: Probably. Have you gotten enough sleep?
PW: We had to clean runny poo out of her cage, every hour, all night long. So, no.
Asst.: Have you had a lot of caffiene lately?
PW: I just had a big mug of chai tea in an attempt to keep myself awake.
She put me on hold for another few seconds, then came back with my prognosis, "Dr. J says that living with Husband is too stressful. Go home and take a nap."
Oh, he is so my favorite doctor. I'm seeing if he can do my next pap smear.
Comments
Hi PW,
I feel your pain (and wish I had been ordered by my doctor to take a nap!). I had the same thing happen to me in October. First, I lost my direct vision, i.e., I couldn't see anything that I directly looked at but still could see everything around it. Then my direct vision returned and I got the wavy peripheral vision thing and then lost my peripheral vision completely for 10 minutes! It was scary, but after all kinds of tests with my doctor and an opthalmologist, they decided that what I had experienced was an "optical migraine."
It hasn't happened again, but they are apparently triggered by caffeine, chocolate, cheese, and red wine. The day before my o.m. I had red wine and lasagna for dinner and brownies for dessert--I guess I won't be eating that type of meal again!!
Hope your puppy stress goes down soon--it took about a month for my household to settle down after we got a puppy last year.
--Numerica
Posted by: Numerica at January 9, 2007 01:19 PM
Awww Poor Sweet Baby! Let me stroke your hair ... then give it a yank! Poor Poor Mistreated Girl ... go home and take a nap (after cleaning more poopy out of puppy's cage).
Dr J is also my eye doc ... he told me to buy $9 glasses from Osco. Maybe I need to borrow Husband so I'll have doctors orders to go home from work and take a nap.
Snippy Bitch XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXXOO
Posted by: Snippy Bitch at January 9, 2007 02:17 PM
Oh, poor sweet baby! *strokes your hair* *smooches your fevered, stressed brow*
Were I not 6000 miles away, I totally would have driven you to the ER. And then to the nearest Ben & Jerry's.
Posted by: Mickey at January 9, 2007 04:10 PM
OH NO MY POOR DARLING WENCHIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*gives Squishy, bosom-knocking hugs*
You tormented sweetie pie. *strokes hair, cause I love that shit too, more than food and nobody does it for me anymore, poor me, boo hoo, so its the lease I can do for my FRIEND*
I think a nice big piece of cheescake is what you need.(in addition to a nap)
But seriously Numerica? A dinner like that is worth a little bit of wobbly vision, YUM!!!!!!!! *Drools*
Posted by: Scarlett Cyn at January 10, 2007 03:29 AM
Scarlett Cyn: Since the doctor told me the O.M.s are harmless (thank god!), I haven't cut those "trigger" foods out of my life. I just try not to consume all of them in one day. Seems to be working so far... Except for the fact that red wine and cheese go so well together...
Posted by: Numerica at January 11, 2007 08:05 AM