March 13, 2007
Shaken, Not Stirred
Sleep does not come easy for me, as we all know. Blame it on feng shui, biorhythms or an overactive imagination. So last night, it was quite wonderful -- and rare -- to still be deep in dreams beyond 4 a.m.
Suddenly, I was violently shaken awake by Husband. And I’m not talking about a nudge here, people. I’m talking about WE HAVE TEN SECONDS TO GET OUT OF THE HOUSE!!! That kind of shaken awake. The kind where your colon leaps up to join your tonsils, and you’re sure that, if no one is already dead, someone will be very, very soon.
I bolted upright and took the earplugs out of my ears… just in time to hear the all-too-familiar sound of Daisy preparing to hurl on the bedroom rug.
Quickly, I used my powers of levitation to whisk Daisy into the kitchen, where she could puke harmlessly on the linoleum!
Wait a minute. I don’t have powers of levitation. So why the fuck did Husband wake me with such urgency? What did he think I was going to do that he couldn’t do?
I’m more than happy to share in the responsibility of cleaning up middle-of-the-night, semi-digested piles of goo. But I hardly think an impending one warrants scaring the eternal living shit outta me.
PW: Darling? The next time you crave my company cleaning up dog barf? Please don’t violently shake me awake. Okay, sweetie?
H: But! She was about to throw-up!
PW: Which, while being gross, isn’t really a life-threatening emergency, is it, my love?
H: Well… I panicked.
And then? He turned on every light in the house in rapid succession. At 4:30 a.m. Thank God there wasn’t a plane about to fly into our house because I wouldn’t have been able to see my way to the door.
Comments
Did Husband think he'd find more icky goo by turning on all the lights???
Posted by: Snippy Bitch at March 13, 2007 09:50 AM
After a while you don't care if the dog pukes in the dead of night, so long as it's not on the bed I'll open an eye halfway, make sure nothing is drastically wrong and go back to sleep.
Posted by: Hope at March 13, 2007 11:29 AM
and....WHY did he need your help getting the dog to the kitchen? he couldn't do this himself....why?
also? why didn't you just let the puppy clean it up? that's what she's good at! cleaning the floor!
Posted by: heather at March 13, 2007 11:45 AM