June 25, 2007
Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow
Can you believe I even used that title? Wasn't that the name of a Bugs Bunny episode? I'm so embarassed.
Well, as I'm sure you've surmised from my plagerized title, I'm getting my hair cut tomorrow. And why is that blog-worthy? you're wondering.
A. Because it's my hair, and I have been named She of the Immaculate Hair.
B. Because I'm getting ten inches cut off. TEN!!! That's a lotta damn hair, people!
It's a crime against humanity, I know. But as upsetting as I'm sure it is for all of you, be assured, it's for a good cause. Locks of Love. Their mission statement is:
To return a sense of self, confidence and normalcy to children suffering from hair loss by utilizing donated ponytails to provide the highest quality hair prosthetics to financially disadvantaged children.
See that? Highest quality hair. Well. I'm practically obligated, aren't I?
But here's the thing. It takes a long time to grow ten inches of hair. Especially when one is actually growing an extra surplus of hair so that one is not bald when the ten inches is cut off. Now, I likes me some long hair, but it's gotten ridiculous.
The washing, the rinsing, the conditioning, the combing out of the knots, the drying, the curling/straightening, the brushing, the styling -- dudes? My arms are tired.
And now, the requisite Before photos. I'll have the After photos on Wednesday. On Tuesday, I will be crying too hard to blog.
This one I took in February. I know because Valentine's Day was the only day I ever wore red nail polish. A mistake I won't be making again.
Do you know how hard it is to take a picture of your own hair? This is my hair Sunday morning. It's pretty much been my standard 'do since retiring. It's easy to grown one's hair out, when one doesn't ever have to look professional.
But said 'do doesn't cut it in an office environment. Unless, of course, I were at the office after hours. Vacuuming and emptying waste paper baskets.
No, I need to look polished and put together. And since we all know I couldn't care less about my wardrobe, I often let my hair do most of the talking for me. And right now? It's saying...
"I'm a damn hippie."
Yes, this is the cascade of glory that is undergoing the knife at 2:00 p.m. Tuesday. My hair dresser is positively quivering at the idea of giving me A Whole New Look. I, however, am less enthusiastic.
So why go through with it now? Why not wait another six months? Well, frankly, what with my employment beginning today, I want to be able to sleep in another 20 minutes each morning, and I can do that... with ten inches less hair.
So. Who wants a lock?
I had this I.M. conversation with Marty, who took the news fairly well.
PW: I'm cutting 10" off my hair on Tuesday. Want a lock?
M: sure! I'll put it in my hope chest
PW: Ok, I'll save one for ya.
M: 10"??? how will I recognize you?
PW: Please. Like your eyes ever make it higher than my chest.
M: sometimes your hair hangs down in front and kinda covers your boobs
PW: Wait. You have a hope chest???? Fag.
M: I'm kind of excited to see it
PW: the short hair?
M: yup
PW: for you, it'll be like not having sex with a whole new woman
Seriously, who wants a lock? I will be selling them for a small fee. Or a small gift. Or a kiss. With tongues.
Comments
At least you aren't dying it fire engine red again.
Good luck! I'll be waiting with your payment.
Posted by: Marty at June 25, 2007 12:06 PM
Holy Fucking Shit! 10" of the blondness cut off! Good for you! Some child will be SO Lucky to have your hair help their self esteen... maybe some of your AT-itude will seep in and a Pirate Kiddo will emerge! Not only will you save time, your head will feel SO much lighter! I can't wait to see your new look! I'm sure it will be SASSSssSY! (and professional -- profesional sassy? why not?)
Snippy Bitch
Posted by: Snippy Bitch at June 25, 2007 12:58 PM
Can't you just go volunteer your time, instead? You have nothing better to do since you were fired upon not showing up on your first day of work. The mere thought of this makes me weak in my wings.
Posted by: Kelly Garrett at June 25, 2007 03:27 PM