July 13, 2007
The Week in Review
Oooh, it's Friday the 13th! No wonder you've got such bad luck as to be reading this post!
Husband and I started redecorating the kitchen and adjoinging mudroom/pantry over the weekend. And God forbid I let the man do any project easily -- I'm having him move the whole phone from the kitchen to the mudroom. So he has to relocate all the wires and shit and then patch up the wall. I'm so demanding.
And that's when I noticed that the internet went out again. Which is like cutting off my hands and cutting out my tongue and WHY DON'T YOU JUST KILL ME ALREADY???
So I had my I.T. guy over on Tuesday. Yeah, I have my own I.T. guy. I'm that important. Actually, it's just Marty. But he has three kids and his wife can't cook, so he's not in any huge hurry to go home after work.
He came over and wove his computer wizardry spells for over an hour, much of which he spent on the phone with Bill from SBC. I think they're going steady now, but Marty's not talkin'.
And when nothing worked, Marty clipped electrodes to his nipples and stood on the roof holding rods of tin foil. Nuthin'. So I snapped a photo and sent him on his way.
Tuesday night, it finally occurred to me. Hmmm... the internet stopped working when we disconnected the kitchen phone, sooooo... why don't we try hooking it back up?
Duh.
Well, c'mon, people. You can't expect me to be this good lookin' and brilliant!
So there's my gripping tale of internet woe. Let's see... what other minutae of my life have you been deprived of?
I listed a dumptruck-full of purses on eBay yesterday. I have a friend who is even more of a purse whore than I am. Except that she's a pastor, so I probably shouldn't refer to her as any kind of a whore. Enh -- throw another sin on the pile, boys!
I'm plugging along at the new job, slowly but surely. There's a TON to learn, forms and reports and such. Nothing terribly difficult, just a lot to keep straight. This is where my O.C. is an asset! And the more I can do on my own, the more my boss will be gone, so that's as big an incentive as you could ever give me.
The cicadas are gone from the neighborhood now. I can walk my dogs in relative calm and safety. (I say "relative" because, apparently, now a coyote has moved into the neighborhood. Speaking of eBay, I'm currently bidding on a big anvil.) However, I hear that, at some point, the eggs start dropping from the trees. Like rain. Well, that certainly triggers the ol' gag reflex. I'll be calling in sick that day for sure.
My Victoria's Secret shipment came today! Actually, they had to put it in two shipments. Hee! Annual clearance sale! Stock-up time! I got four bras and five panties. Little Known Wenchie Fact: All my panties have to have at least some pink in them. It's just a thing I have.
But the redecorating of the mudroom isn't going so well, my friends. See, we chose red. Okay, I chose red, and Husband chose not to argue. Now, I don't know if you've heard, but when it comes to paint, red is the hardest color to apply because it's damn near impossible to get the color even.
As we found out while applying the second coat. Therefore, the second coat, technically, didn't actually get... applied. Husband started using the F Bomb, and that's when I knew it was time to come up with a Plan B. See, Husband isn't as comfortable with Fuck as I am (although he's making wonderful progress with Vagina), so when he starts sounding like me, it means then I have to be the rational one. Scary, no?
Anyhoo, I've been taking photos at every stage and will encorporate them into a stunning pictoral blog come August.
Holy crap. The summer is, like, half over. And all I've done is bought some panties, hid from cicadas and futzed around on eBay. I'm such a loser.
And you're still reeling at the thought that a pastor would be friends with me, aren't you?
Comments
Hey, Jesus hung out with whores. Why shouldn't she?
Love you Wenchie! Kiss Kiss! Please don't kill me!
Posted by: Marty at July 13, 2007 10:46 AM
I had very good luck with red, by finding two shades where one was slightly darker than the other, painting with the dark one, and then sponging the light one over it. If you're not happy with your current results, try that. And if you want it to be shiny instead of matte (which also looks good), add a coat of gloss over it.
Posted by: Mickey at July 15, 2007 05:23 AM
I'm sure Garrance would help you with your painting situation if you offer to cook him a lean cuisine frozen dinner and promise to use the word "choad" at least three times.
I'm pleased to hear Husband is making progress with "vagina." Maybe you should have him practice using it in the figurative rather than the literal to accelarate his comfort level. For example, he could say to you the next time your internet goes out, "Gee Wenchie, you seem a little irritated, do you have some sand in your vagina?"
Posted by: Kelly Garrett at July 15, 2007 10:16 PM
I have a red living room. It got that way by being painted, and then I applied a coat of 1/2 clear stain 1/2 red paint. This was the solution of the paint store guy, cause he wasn't there to inform me of the whole red paint thing to begin with.
Posted by: elle at July 16, 2007 02:25 PM