July 05, 2007

The Feast of July

The 4th of July has officially joined Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter as a holday at which we gorge ourselves.

Up until this year, the 4th was always summer food: fruity Jello, slurpy watermelon, crunchy coleslaw. You know, foods low in carbs, high in water content. Over-eating is hard to do when your shorts are already sweaty and sticking to you. The last thing you want is for them to feel even tighter.

And there was my first mistake. Yesterday was hot and drippingly moist, so I decided that we would eat inside. On the dining room table. Where the bloated ghosts of past Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter feasts linger year-round because they're too full to float away.

The next mistake? Making Independence Potatos instead of cutting up the half of a watermelon we have sitting in the fridge. Stooooooooo-pid!

[The origin of Independence Potatos: I hate mashed potatos, so for my first big family dinner, my Mom gave me a recipe for what she calls Funeral Potatos because she always makes them for funeral luncheons. (We're Lutheran.) Well, at Easter dinner, Ramone didn't think it was right to be eating Funeral Potatos to celebrate Jesus' resurrection, so he dubbed them Our Risen Savior Potatos. And now they just morph into whatever occassion I make them for, i.e. Independence Potatos.]

The third stop on the way to Fullsville was Egrau's contribution. I had asked her to bring some kind of salad. So what did she bring? Pasta salad! Not that it isn't freakin' awesome and I totally have to get the recipe from her. It's just funny that she chose the same route as I did -- the carb route.

So typical of us. *sigh*

And then. There was dessert.

Of course, for six people, PJ couldn't make just one dessert. She had to make an entire pan of chocolate-chip-caramel-walnut brownies, and an apple pie that was eight inches high. A la mode.

But the piece de resistance was the entree. We had some nice beef filets that Husband was going to grill, but about mid-afternoon, he came down with one of his increasingly-frequent stress headaches.

(No, smart-asses, living with me has not finally caught up with him. Work has become unbearable for him. That kind of I'm-going-to-light-a-match-and-walk-away unbearable. I'll tell you about it when the smoke clears. Whenever that is. But until then, well... I have been advised not to discuss it.)

Fifteen minutes before company arrived, he barfed. (Nothing funny -- just a plain ol' in-the-toilet hurl). So I wasn't about to make him stand over a fire in 85 degree heat. See? I'm nice sometimes!

So we ordered pizza. And had with it potatos, pasta, brownies and pie. The food coma brought on by the meal was so severe, I went to bed at 8:30 last night.

I had eaten so much that, by 8:10 this morning, I had already pooped twice.

Posted on July 5, 2007 02:38 PM

Comments

Posted by: Kelly Garrett at July 5, 2007 03:46 PM

Posted by: Lori at July 6, 2007 12:38 PM

Posted by: heather at July 9, 2007 04:48 PM

Posted by: garrance at July 10, 2007 07:21 PM

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