August 08, 2007
My 1,500th Commenter!
I can't believe that my snarky babbling has actually inspired fifteen hundred pithy remarks. How cool are we?!
So. My fifteen-hundreth comment, appearing Thursday, August 2nd, 2007, at 1:49 p.m., was made by...
KELLY GARRETT!!!!!!
Proving that good things always happen to beautiful, braless people!
Ms. Garrett provided the following comment to my blog about Wenchie's Hellbent Advocacy for Manners:
"I am so with you! Would you believe that the waitress at Chile's (yes, I know I was inviting confrontation by eating at Chile's) brought out an actual knife with my hamburger and wanted to stand over me as I cut the burger in half to make sure it was cooked to my liking? I was stunned! Did she have so little faith in her chef that she expected to serve me a culinary abomination? I flat out refused and told her that if Chile's can't produce an acceptable hamburger that they should consider closing. I've never been so offended in my life!"
I actually have no freakin' clue what burgers have to do with high school girls, but I'm sure it's just way over my head because Kelly is way funnier than me and even more darkly bizarre.
Okay, Kelly, you know how this works... or perhaps you don't. You're new, so I'll explain.
Just like Garrance got for the 1,000th comment, you get:
1. A photo spread of the infamous Wisconsin Christmas trees, to appear in this blog as soon as we get the damn thing outta my car and find a place for it in the house. (Yes, it's still in my car! So what?)
2. To ask me any question in the universe, and I will answer it, completely and truthfully, right here in my blog, for all the world to see.
3. Because you are the 1,500th commenter, you may make any request of me that you wish. Providing it doesn't get me beaten up by K, cuz she's scary as hell. Any request, any belonging, any favor, any thing -- it's yours for the asking.
Actually, I'm sure you don't give an emu's ass about Wisconsin Christmas trees, so let's change it to... I'll do a photo spread of your choice, as long as it's not pornographic.
Ladies and gentlemen, there's something you should know about Kelly Garrett. I babysat for Kelly. ONCE. She asked me if I'd ever been boofed. I was a freshman in high school and had to ask a friend what the hell it means. (I'll tell you later, Mom.)
I just wanted to tell you this so you have a full appreciation of what I'm opening myself up to here: requests from a deviant. I await my fate in horror.
The things I do for you people.
Comments
I babysat for kelly and her deviant sibling a couple of times. oh my god, the HORROR.
Posted by: heather at August 8, 2007 01:01 PM
So? What was your answer?
Posted by: Marty at August 8, 2007 04:18 PM
Wow, this is a tremendous honor! First of all, to make the connection between your post and my comment: your post was about people acting rude and inappropriate in public and my comment was about rudeness and inappropiateness that had been visited upon me in public. I understand what a stretch that was!
Second, I don't know who this "Heather" is who claims to have babysat me. Please identify yourself. (If you have a younger brother that I had broadcasting with, then there is no need -- just confirm that.) I should really have a "where are they now" type of blog about former babysitters. None have risen to the heights of Pirate with her internationally notorious blog or M.E. who is the bassist of one of the best post modern punk garage bands in the country.
Finally, on to my prize. Pirate, I had a good mind to ask if you've been boofed since you last babysat me, especially since you did not answer me the first time and if you did it was fucking bullshit since you didn't even know what boofing was. Instead I will demand the same prize that Garrance did -- lunch with you next time I am in the neighborhood. And who's to say a little boofing won't come up in conversation.
Posted by: Kelly Garrett at August 8, 2007 10:54 PM
Lunch means THE MECCA!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm afraid that child will need a chaperone! Garrance
Posted by: garrance at August 9, 2007 03:53 PM