October 09, 2007
Baboon Foreplay
It's been uncharacteristically hot this October. (That's a lot of letters in that word.) I don't like hot. I don't like summer.
See, I'm a sweater. No, not a cableknit -- I am One Who Sweats. Profusely. You're so turned on right now, aren't you? It's a lovely traight I inherited from my father. Thanks, Dad!
And while we're at it, thanks for the bad knees, the near-allergic reactions to direct sunlight, and the long, thick, luxurious blonde hair.
Hey, one outta four still ain't great.
This extra month of sweaty weather we've had means more opportunities for me to break out. Specifically, I'm talking about zits on my back.
This just keeps getting sexier and sexier, doesn't it?
Oh, don't act like you've never broken out somewhere weird. Like that random pimple on your forearm, despite the fact that you shower regularly. It's not beyond the pale to assume that the occassional tiny blemish shows up on my sweat-slicked back.
Right between my shoulder blades. A spot more unreachable than the top of Mt. Everest.
And it ITCHES! It itches like CRAZY! I'm rubbing up against door jams like a rutting moose, for God's sake! It's not lady-like!
Finally, I broke down and asked Husband to pop it for me, even though I knew what his answer would be:
"No!"
"Why not?"
"Cuz it's gross!"
"I'd do it for you!"
"I know, and I HATE it when you do that!"
"If you really loved me, you would pop my zit!"
"Stop it!"
"Billi would do it!"
"Then go ask her!"
He's so mean. All those times I drive his sorry ass to the E.R., and he can't pop one little zit. What a baby.
So the other night, I guess he was feeling a bit randy. He started that oh-so-subtle thing that husbands do where they rub your back and ask if you're sleeping.
Getting minimal response from me, he started scratching between my shoulder blades and then, very deliberately, scratched off the tiny zit between them.
What can I say? He got lucky that night.
Comments
Yeah Baby!!!!!!!!!!!!! I too also hate summer and heat! 30 below please!!!!!!!!! Garrance
Posted by: garrance at October 9, 2007 07:58 PM
Mother nature read this, was grossed out by the backne, and now it's a balmy 47 degrees. Thanks wenchie!!
Posted by: Vicki at October 10, 2007 10:47 AM
I was happy to find your blog on a Chicago blog directory. Great pictures I wanted to invite you to join vocalo.org. It’s a new experiment in radio. We are live at 89.5 in Northwest Indiana and coming to Chicago soon. We are looking for bloggers to post their work on the website (text, photos, videos, audio. We may read it on air, or you can record it your self by calling the phone number on the site, or through your computer.
If you do post, be sure to let people who read your blog know you are posting. The more attention your blog gets from visitors on the site, the more likely it is to get on air.
Email shannon@vocalo.org if you have any questions.
-Shannon
Posted by: shannon at October 10, 2007 11:27 AM