November 09, 2007
The Back Bone's Connected to the... Poop Bone!
As has been established, I don't poop while on vacation.
Have we covered Sleeping In Any Bed But Her Own Gives Wenchie a Lower Back Ache? Well, it does.
PMS also gives me a lower back ache and keeps me from my regular pooping schedule.
Calamity ensued when PMS and vacation happened at the same time last month. I went up to Door County with Billi and Terri, while riding the cotton pony.
Like many people, we ate extra-much while away from home. By the third day of not pooping, I had to wonder just how backed up my system was and if perhaps I should stop eating altogether. I pictured my intestines like a queue, velvet ropes holding people in their place in the snaking line. The line getting longer and longer as the weekend wore on. Every bite I took, I could just see the queue getting fuller and fuller, like the line for Disney's Haunted Mansion (the ride, not the movie).
By the time I got home, I was in an awful state. My lower back was crippled, partly from constipation pain, partly from PMS-inflamed strange-bed syndrome.
(It has occurred to me that this post really wins the prize for Too Much Information. And knowing this blog, that's really saying something!)
Luckily, I had an appointment with my chiropractor for Monday, for my RTS (repeated task syndrome, i.e. I spend too much time at my computer mousing, and thus my forearm and elbow burns with every movement -- I have a blog-related injury).
PW: Dr. Angel, I have a stupid question.
Dr. A: Those are my favorite kind!
PW: Can a messed up back affect your insides?
Dr. A: Sure. What hurts?
PW: My lower back is KILLING me.
Dr. A: Oh, so you're constipated!
PW: Wha-- NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
Dr. A: You're not constipated?
PW: No, I just... There's a rule! You're not supposed to talk about constipation with a hot guy!
Dr. A: I'm not! I'm talking about it with you!
PW: Well, I'm not at liberty to discuss my inner-workings. Let's just say I'm having issues. Now fix my damn back.
So he did. I burped twice in the car and farted four times in the Post Office. The machinery was coming back to life.
I pooped within an hour of getting home, and then twice more before going to bed.
Now THAT'S a chiropractor!
Comments
It is amazing what a little "adjustment" can do.
My chiro does a "come to Jesus" move - I stand, cross arms across my chest, head back & look up to the heavens. He stands behind, lifts me, jerk & my back CRACKS. I'm in glorious pain for a moment and then ... Pain free! THank you JEsus!
Posted by: Snippy Bitch at November 10, 2007 12:09 PM
I am SO glad you didn't see him Friday afternoon...
Posted by: Marty at November 12, 2007 09:36 AM